Wouldn’t It Be Good

In seeking to understand the events of the last few months, I have pondered long and often about what quirks it was that allowed me to recognize the connection between the people involved.  Though whatever glory and credit there is in the matter belongs to God, it does appear at least that there were some factors involved in discerning the wicked from the godly in my own personal case, and as those may be useful for others to understand, I thought it worthwhile to provide those.

First, though, I thought it worthwhile to provide a note on the title.  In 1984 the melancholy British rocker Nik Kershaw released the song “Wouldn’t It Be Good” on his debut album, and it became his biggest hit in the United States [1].  The song itself deals ironically with the idea that life is better for others, with the desire to trade places with someone else for a day, as in the lyrics:  “Wouldn’t it be good to be in your shoes, even if it was for just one day?”

It is worthwhile to examine why I was able to recognize what was going on so quickly and so completely, as I am not such a hugely perceptive person who could rely on my God-given gifts alone to recognize such matters.  Ironically enough, one of the biggest gifts I was given in this crisis was a pattern of hostility and exclusion and rejection that was a significant burden to me in the last few years [2].  As someone who has searched very deeply and very personally in order to uncover the purposes why God allows horrible evils to exist in this world [3], it should come as little surprise that I have mined the troublesome events of the last few years in my own personal life for insights.  What else is there to do with trials but to seek to learn from them and hope they will end as profitably and quickly as possible?

In some congregations and with some people, there have been many phone calls and many e-mails and many attempts by those who have left Cogwa to woo those still in United to follow after them.  I have received no phone calls or e-mails at all to woo me, not that this surprises me, but it brought to mind that there is more going on that meets the eye.  I am not alone in this experience either–some of my friends today brought it to my attention that they knew people who had been wooed but no one had ever bothered to try to persuade them to join the malcontent ship of fools as it sets its course for oblivion.

It has long bothered me that before I realized I was on a side, or even that there were sides, that people had me pegged on “the other side” and treated me accordingly.  It infuriates me that I was the victim of character assassination campaigns and personal attacks and the gossip mill of ministers before I had ever done anything of consequence or even realized what was going on.  It would have been nice to have found my allies before I found myself under years of assault and ridicule from those whose official job it was to cultivate leaders and develop the capacities of the brethren but who realized in me that I was clearly not going to be a supporter of theirs.

This was a gift, in retrospect, because it allowed me to see these evil men for who they really were because they did not bother to hide their hostility and nastiness to me or cover it with the normal veneer of civilized conduct.  It does not take any great abilities of perception to react in a hostile manner to those who treat you without the slightest hint of civility or who consider you beneath contempt.  It does not take any great abilities of wisdom to recognize that people who have insulted and attacked you for years who all sign the same letters and support the same people are probably involved in some kind of conspiracy and have been for years.

The fact that such people had targeted me so long ago (between 2004 and 2006, for the most part), long before I was deeply aware of any sort of culture war existing among the ministry as a whole, means that I was recognized as hostile to their worldview and agenda long before it was made clear that they could not bear to lose their power.  The fact of the matter is that they knew that for whatever reason–my personality, my personal background, my educational experience–I was not going to support their agenda and that I would actively oppose it if I were ever in the position to speak out about it.

They were, of course, right.  Nonetheless, I can’t help but feel as if the last few years and the hostility of 2010 in particular has the air of a self-fulfilling prophecy.  One gets no credit for being perceptive about the identity of one’s enemies if one has assiduously courted their hostility over years of insults, slights, and personal attacks.  If possible, I would be the enemy of no man, though I am the sworn enemy of many wicked qualities, wherever they may be found.

It is Satan who desires discord among the brethren, who is the father of lies, who is quick to commit evil [4], and it is these qualities that have been shown by those wicked who marked me as an enemy years ago.  It only happened that way because they themselves chose it to be.  It could have gone differently, had they been humble men not quick to take offense where none was meant, or quick to go to their brother when offense was taken, things could have been dealt with early on.  If they had been able to be humble in the face of merited rebuke and godly correction, they need not have gone their own way.  But that would have required them to be godly men, obedient to God and full of love for their fellow man.

Seen in that light, it is an honor that they never wanted me in the first place, and it would be an insult to be wanted by such a crowd.  There is, after all, insight and wisdom that one gains from being on the outside, and from seeing people as they are and not as they wish to be seen, even if one owes that to God’s providential working of trials and tribulations over the course of years.  But such insight is only available in hindsight, long after the pieces of the puzzle have been put together, and the melancholy task of sifting the ruins for useful rubble has taken place.  Such is the life, though.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wouldn’t_It_Be_Good

[2] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/lines-drawn-in-the-sand-the-process-of-edge-induced-cohesion/

[3] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2010/12/28/all-that-heaven-allows/

About nathanalbright

I'm a person with diverse interests who loves to read. If you want to know something about me, just ask.
This entry was posted in Christianity, Church of God, Musings and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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