Liveblogging Super Bowl LI

3:05PM:  I’m setting up my computer here at the chateau Weis where we are having a discussion about languages as the pregame show winds up.

3:15PM:  Those of you who know how this works don’t need the introduction, but those who don’t know my previous liveblogging efforts [1] could use a bit of an introduction.  I will be watching this game and the commercials with a group of people who braved Portland’s latest snowpocalypse to travel to Camus and making comments frequently.

3:22PM:  The conversation has moved to the rosters and who is on them, and what players are really good, as well as to the ingredients of the mojito that our host is passing around.

3:23PM:  Time for “America The Beautiful,” three ladies from the cast of Hamilton attempting to do some harmonies.  Our congregation’s a capella harmonies are better.  I see how they wanted to change up those lyrics there.  Hmm.

3:25PM:  The US Army band is now playing the national anthem with bro-country singer Luke Bryan.  So far it sounds better than most of his songs.  Not bad, not bad.

3:28PM:  And on for the commercials.  Creepy movie trailers!  A marching band advertising McDonalds.  A painful AFLAC commercial on gall bladder surgery.  A multicultural Coke commercial.  A terrible Fox commercial spoofing “A Hard Knock Life.”  Another Fox commercial for Legion and then some sponsorship notes on the Super Bowl.  So far I’m not impressed.

3:32PM:  And now for some special guests, former president George H.W. Bush and the former first lady his wife, being wheeled out to the middle of the field, to honor this Super Bowl being played in Houston.  It’s a classy move having them do the coin toss.  Atlanta wins the toss and elects to defer to the second half.

3:34PM:  Time to get some more food, as these commercials don’t appear to be all that great so far.  Never mind, that actually was a good Ford commercial, albeit a slow-building one.

3:37PM:  Kick-off time.  Touchback.

3:38PM:  Patriots with the ball, starting from the 25.  Pass incomplete.

3:39PM:  Pass complete on second down, and there will be a short third and one.  Run is stuffed.  Fourth down.  Time to punt!

3:40PM:  Atlanta fields the punt, and there’s a flag that takes back the return, as it’s a hold.

3:41PM:  1st and 10 from the 8.   Boom.  And that’s a big run, almost to midfield.  On the resulting first down Atlanta runs for three yards.

3:43PM:  On 2nd and 7, there’s a short pass from Ryan.  Now it’s 3rd and 4 with the Falcons in New England territory.  A fumble recovery TD is called back because Ryan was down on the sack.  And Atlanta punts it deep and New England is stuck with bad field position.

3:45PM:  Now it’s commercial time.  We’ve got a sappy commercial for google appealing to the family that also plays to bilingualism.  And now we have another commercial where various people are being called home.  Here’s a commercial about secret societies for Mexican avocados.

3:47PM:  Brady scrambles on 1st down and gets two yards and gets hit hard out of bounds.  On 2nd and 8, Brady passes for a 13-yard first down pass.

3:49PM:  Brady throws for another first down pass for 15 yards to Hogan on first down.  The Patriots are on the move despite the pressure Atlanta is bringing on Brady.  On first down the Patriots try for a run and it’s a short two yard gain.

3:50PM:  On send down Brady passes and it’s short of a first down.  Third down and 1 coming.  Brady passes and it’s a first down for eleven yards into Falcons territory. Play action and Brady is sacked.  Boom!

3:52PM:  On 2nd and 19 Brady floats one and the pass is incomplete.  Third down and long.  Brady scrambles and he is sacked again.  Time for New England to punt.  The returner calls for a fair catch and after the next commercial break it will be the Falcon’s ball again.

3:54PM:  An Arnoldcentric commercial follows for Mobile Strike, and then there is an IBM commercial for H & R Block and then a funny Skittles commercial.  “Romance The Rainbow.”  Hmmm.

3:56PM:  Atlanta gets a nice carry for 9 yards on first down.  Ryan passes to a wide open FB for the first down.  Atlanta runs for a short gain on the resulting first down.  Atlanta runs it off and gets some yards, and it will be third and three.  Ryan scrambles and loses some yards on the play.  Atlanta will punt and New England will get the ball back at the eighteen.  It’s scoreless near the end of the first quarter.  This game is a lot more defensive than I thought it would be so far.

4:00PM:  That’s an odd commercial for Busch, and then a commercial to advertise oil for the American Petroleum Institute, and then an amusing internet commercial for GoDaddy.

4:02PM:  New England ball.  First down reception past the thirty.  Blount runs for a few yards and gets almost to another first down.  Patriots run again on 2nd and 3 and it will be 3rd and a long one or a short two.  And that’s the end of the first quarter and we’re still scoreless.

4:04PM:  During the resulting commercial break there is a commercial for Life Water, Intel, World of Tanks with a “real awful moms,” and a cheesy Tonkin commercial.

4:07PM:  Patriots have the ball still and pass it for 27 yards.  I almost won.  First down again and New England runs.  It’s a fumble!  Atlanta gets the fumble recovery and a declined penalty against New England.  And more commercials.  Arg…

4:09PM:  So we have trailer for the next Pirates of the Caribbean, and a hilarious Buick commercial.

4:11PM:  Atlanta with the ball.  Ryan does play action and passes for a 19-yard completion, and that was an amazing catch.  On the resulting first down Atlanta gets another first down with a pass, and then there’s another first down with a run, and now it’s first down and ten in the red zone.  And Freeman runs to the five.  Patriots burn a time out because their defense can’t handle the hurry up offense.

4:14PM:  And another movie trailer, this time a great Logan movie trailer, and then the Justin Beiber unlimited commercial for T-Mobile and a moving tackling dummy.

4:16PM:  On 2nd and 1 at the five yard line, Freeman runs for the endzone.  Touchdown!  And the extra point is good.  7-0 Atlanta!

4:17PM:  And now we have some celebrity yearbooks to advertise Honda, a Christopher Walken and Justin Timberlake commercial to advertise some drink called Bai to the ‘N Sync Hit “Bye Bye Bye,” and another trailer for the fifth Transformers movie.

4:20PM:  And the Patriots get the kickoff and it’s a short return.  On first and ten at the eleven the Patriots pass and it’s incomplete on some tight coverage.  On second down and it’s almost like a Madden move where the running back keeps on trying to spin and it’s a short gain.  On third down and seven the Patriots pass and Atlanta gets an open-field tackle, and the Patriots will have to punt it away again.  It’s a short punt and Atlanta gets a the ball back with good field position.

4:23PM:  Terry Bradshaw in a funny commercial about having a stain on one’s shirt for Tide:  “No Stain Deserves Fame,” and a really drastic Sprint commercial, and a commercial for 24 Legacy.  Atlanta has the ball and it’s a pass for 24 yards.  And then Ryan scrambles for an eighteen yard first down to the twenty.  A short run follows on first down.  On 2nd and 9, Ryan passes into the end zone and it’s incomplete.  It’s third down and nine, and it’s another Falcons TD.  But there’s a flag, and it’s against New England and the penalty will be declined.  A New England special teams player jumps offside and the extra point is good.  Atlanta is up 14-0.

4:30PM:  And there’s another Coke commercial and a really gross trailer for “The Handmaiden’s Tale” and a mildly amusing Febreeze commercial.

4:33PM:  The Patriots will get the ball at the 25 as it’s another touchback.  Brady tosses a first down in the middle of the field.  Brady skips one incomplete on first down.  On second down Brady throws and it was almost an interception.  It’s third down and ten, and Brady gets hit and there’s a flag as the pass is short of the first down.  The penalty is defensive holding and it will be a first down for New England.  On first down New England runs and gets nothing.  The camera cuts to Gronkowski on the sideline.  On second down Brady is clobbered and the New England player trips on his own feet shy of the first down.  On third and three Brady gets hammered again and it’s another defensive hold for a New England first down.

4:38PM:  New England runs and it’s a gain of one.  It’s second down, and Brady passes it and it’s incomplete.  New England doesn’t have the luxury of dropping passes at this rate.  It’s third and long, and Atlanta burns a timeout.  And why do we need to see lots of photos of Lady Gaga posing before the game again?  Back to football, and Brady throws it incomplete but there’s another defensive holding penalty after Brady gets hammered again.  New England runs and gets nothing.  On second down there ‘s play action and there’s a first down pass for thirteen yards.  On first down there’s another rush for some short yardage.  On second down Atlanta’s nose tackle body slams the running back after almost no gain.  On third down Atlanta intercepts the pass and takes it all the way back for the pick-six.  21-0 Atlanta!

4:46PM:  And we have another car commercial, this one for Alfa Romeo, and an athletic-themed commercial for for Michelob Ultra and more hype for the Lady Gaga halftime show.  New England gets the ball back after the touchback and it’s another short gain on the run.  We’re at the two-minute warning.

4:50PM:  And we have a Turbotax commercial themed for Humpty Dumpty, an average Lexus commercial, and a trailer for Fate of the Furious in the latest entry of series that have gone on for too long.

4:52PM:  New England has the ball again and Brady gets hammered as the ball hangs up and the New England receiver gets it and makes a first down for it.  Atlanta burns their second time out.

4:53PM:  And we see a funny Squarespace commercial for John Malkovich, and a great Wendy’s commercial set to Foreigner’s “Cold As Ice [2]” before yet another plug for 24: Legacy *yawn.*

4:55PM:  After the time out Brady misses a wide open Edelman and it’s second down.  Brady throws it and it’s a first down and it’s 28 yards.  Brady throws it on first down and gets to the 21 with the clock running at under half a minute to go in the half.  Brady throws on second down and it’s incomplete.  Third down and two with half a minute to go, Brady throws and it’s a first down but he didn’t get out of bounds so New England will have to burn a time out.  Brady throws it and it’s incomplete into some tight coverage.  On second down there’s a screen pass for a first down, but there’s a holding penalty on New England, so it will be ten yards back and still second down with twelve seconds to go.  And there’s a screen pass and he is tackled inbounds so New England will have to burn their last time.  New England gets a field goal with two seconds go to, it’s 21-3 in Atlanta’s favor.  It’s time for some prizes, and I don’t win any of them, sadly.

5:03PM:  New England will kick it off and it will be halftime.

5:06PM:  The local halftime commercials aren’t all that impressive.  We have another commercial for 24:  Legacy.  And now we have a commercial with some kind of ragamuffinish girl involving illegal immigration.  What a tease.  Why would I want to see a lumber commercial about illegal immigration?  Grr.

5:11PM:  After the talking heads finish pumping the Atlanta defense there’s a commercial for Empire, and then we have a creepy trailer for Legion.  These commercials are making me want to see Lady Gaga, and that is not something I say lightly.  Lady Gaga, dressed in what looks like a space-traveling ice skater leotard, sings a medley of patriotic songs to begin her concert.  More medleys and Gaga songs follow:  Edge of Glory / Poker Face, Born This Way, Telephone, Just Dance, Million Reasons, Bad Romance and that’s it, with a mic drop and a jump off the top of the stairwell.  I’ll give it a B- for a halftime show.  I have certainly seen worse ones.

5:27PM:  Back to the commercials, with a Bad Romance-themed trailer for Genius with an eccentric fellow playing it on the violin.  That was better than the local commercial that followed, though for Ashley Furniture, and then a commercial for Commercial Link.  You can pay money for a Super Bowl commercial but not for upgrading the internet?  Not acceptable.  Plugging a weather app is good for Oregon this winter.  Time for more talking heads and some comments on social media.

5:32PM:  That’s a cute commercial for Super Bowl Babies set to Chicago’s “You’re The Inspiration [3]” and another plug for “Empire” and a commercial for Positive Coaching Alliance.  Time for the second half.

5:35PM:  And now Atlanta has the ball after a kickoff return to the 19.  On the first down they run and the running back is downed right away for a loss of some loss.  On second down there is a gain and it will be third and six.  On third down the pass is incomplete and the Falcons will have to put it away.  The Patriots got a 34 yard punt return.  I won three prizes, a Hershey’s bar, a kitchen knife, and a flavor enhancer.  Time for a BBQ, according to one of our quests.

5:39PM:  Now we have some more commercials, including an odd Mr. Clean commercial.  And after the return, New England’s returner is judged to have stepped out of bounds at the NE 47, taking away 8 of those return yards.  Oh snap.  First down pass is incomplete.  On second down the run loses yardage, and there’s a flag, and it’s 3rd and 12.  On third and twelve and the pass was dropped.

5:46PM:  After the punt we have yet another immigration themed commercial, this one for Busch.  So, who is claiming that legal immigration is bad again?  This isn’t the 1850’s.  And the Bill Nye Persil commercial.  On first down Atlanta gets a first down off of the play action.  On the next first down there ‘s a run and Coleman gets about five yards.  On second down Ryan gets a long first down pass, way over thirty yards.  Coleman then runs for a short gain and then Ryan throws for another first down.  Freeman runs for another 8 yards before the Falcons give some of them back on the next down.  It’s third and four, and the pass is incomplete but there are a lot of flags for pass interference on the defense, and it’s first and goal for Atlanta.  On the next down Atlanta gets another TD, and the extra point is good.  Atlanta is now up 28-3.

5:54PM:  And that’s a pretty painfully funny commercial with Melissa McCarthy for Kia’s eco hybrid SUV, a funny hair commercial, and another creepy trailer, this one for Stranger Things 2.

5:57PM:  Sad Patriots fans montage!  Excellent!

5:57PM:  The New England receiver gets clobbered after a short pass.  After a missed tackle on second down the New England receiver gets 12 yards and the first down.  The next run gets 8 yards.  The second down run is stuffed for a loss of a yard, and it’s third down.  And the trickeration on third down is incomplete, and it’s time to punt it again.  Or not.  On fourth down the Patriots go for it and pass for the first down.  After the blitz and more hits, Brady passes for two yards.  On second down Brady skips the pass and it’s incomplete.  On third down Brady runs for fifteen yards to get the first down.  It’s first down and ten at the Atlanta 20 and the run gets about 4 or 5 yards and a couple of helmets get stuck together!  On second and 5 the Patriots run for a first down.  It’s now first and goal at the seven and the run goes nowhere.  The Patriots get a TD after a long drive that takes about six minutes.  After the extra point is missed off the upright, it’s 28-9.

6:06PM:  Commercial time, and it’s a creepy trailer for A Cure For Wellness, and then one for Evony.

6:09PM:  After the onside kick with a penalty against New England, and Atlanta gets the ball with great field position.  We end up with a bad commercial for a new Baywatch reboot that nobody asked for.  The Simpson’s commercial was one of the best trailers of the lot.  On the first down, Atlanta gets 9 yards on a pass from Ryan.  Now we’re getting the celebratory bios for the Falcons–starting with Ryan.  There’s a flag on the next play, which didn’t go anywhere, and it’s against the Falcons, so it will be 2nd and 11.  The Falcons will take a time out with less a minute remaining in the 3rd quarter.  After the short timeout it’s incomplete and it will be third and eleven.  And Ryan is sacked on the Falcons side of the 50 and will have to punt it away on third and long.

6:17PM:  Flags fly for delay of game and the Falcons will be pushed back another five yards to repeat the punt.  After the clock starts the third quarter ends.  And we’re back to commercials, a Jack In The Box commercial about hacking, a repeat of the earlier commercial from Xfinity.  Companies that can’t get their internet infrastructure working shouldn’t advertise their product.  Ugg, and that horrible out-of-tun saxophone for the Oregon Lottery commercial about jazzing it up needs to stop now.

6:22PM:  The punt is downed within the fifteen, and the Patriots will take over.  On first down the Patriots pass for the first down along the sidelines.  A short pass follows, and the Patriots receiver is tackled after a 7 yard gain.  The Patriots run for a first down, and the MVP lines open up, probably for a Falcon at this point.   Brady throws deep and overthrows an open Edelman.  On second down Brady throws for a first down at the 41.  Brady throws again along the sidelines and the Patriots receiver goes almost for another first down and is forced out of bounds.  Brady is in an empty back field and throws incomplete into traffic, and a penalty is missed on Atlanta there.  On third and short Brady throws and it’s first and goal after the 25-yard pass.  Brady gets sacked on first down by our favorite Atlanta nose tackle Jarrett, making another big play.  It’s 2nd and goal at the 12, and Brady throws it for almost no gain.  Brady is sacked again by Jarrett and it’s fourth down.  The Patriots try for the field and make it.  It’s 28-12 in Atlanta’s favor at this point.

6:30PM:  Was that a Turkish Airlines commercial?  If you’re selling a product you have to stick around long enough to let the audience know what you are selling.  We see a King’s Hawaiian commercial, and one for Amazon Echo and another creepy Legion commercial (at least the third or fourth one so far for this show alone), along with the creepy dog’s purpose commercial for Bud Light with a ghostly Spuds Mackenzie.

6:34PM:  Atlanta runs on first down for eight yards.  Coleman runs for nothing on second down, clock below 9 minutes, and Coleman is down, and it’ll be an injury time out.

6:35PM:  We have an unpleasant BDSM-themed commercial for T-Mobile that got the dreaded mute button.  Not even Lady Gaga got the mute button.  The sound went back on for the Nintendo Zelda-themed commercial.  That was a nice football commercial and another short and unnecessary 24 Legacy commercial.  It took me longer to discuss the commercial than it lasted *sighs*.  Coleman will be taken in the locker room for some x-rays–that’s not good.  Ryan gets hit and fumbles and the Patriots recover the fumble.

6:39PM:  Brady immediately gets sacked on first down.  The second down pass is caught for short yardage and the receiver is dropped.  The third down pass is caught for a first down and the Patriots receiver gives up on it.  The Patriots pass again and forward progress was stopped and the clock keeps running.  Right now, the clock is as much an opponent as the Falcons are for the Patriots.  On the next down the Patriots score a TD and they are going for two.  The direct snap to the running back is good and the Patriots are now down only 28-20.

6:43PM:  The commercials come.  First there is an odd Buick commercial, and then an odd commercial for the Daytona 500 and another unnecessary 24:  Legacy commercial and another creepy Legion commercial.

6:44PM:  It’s time for the kickoff, and the return is a short one only to the 10 yard line or so.  Happy Patriots fan montage now, which is less enjoyable to see.  Atlanta does play action and Freeman runs on a 39-yard catch and run after being so wide open he could have tied his shoes.  Freeman runs for a short gain on first down and an Atlanta player, their right tackle is down.  Atlanta on second down throws for a long pass on the sideline and Julio Jones makes an acrobatic catch for a first down on the sideline.  Freeman runs for a loss of one and Ryan is sacked on second down.  On third down the Falcons throw  and it’s holding on Atlanta.  It will be ten yards back and the Falcons will go for it again.  The pass is incomplete.  The Falcons are out of field goal range at this point and will have to punt it away.  The Patriots fair catch it close to their own goal line within the ten yard line.

6:54PM:  Jarrett hits Brady hard and Brady is slow getting up after the incomplete pass.  On second down Brady throws it up and it’s incomplete again.  On third down Brady throws and it’s a first down but the receiver can’t get out of bounds, and the clock keeps running under three minutes.  It’s first down on the NE 25, and Brady throws it incomplete, and it could have been picked off but falls harmlessly to the ground.  On second down, with 2:34 left, the Patriots throw and the pass is a first down and then out of bounds with 2:28 left.  On the resulting first down Edelman gets the catch in the middle of the field.  It’s a challenge but the Falcons lose the challenge.  The Patriots get another mid-length catch and it will be a timeout at the two-minute warning with the Patriots in scoring position.

7:01PM:  And we have a classy but odd commercial with opera music and the panther, and then the Sprite commercial with LeBron with the Yo Gotti part cut out, and then another odd commercial, this one a KFC gold one, and then a funny Tide commercial, and then a 24:Legacy and Samsung commercial, and then an APB commercial.

7:04PM:  Back to the game.  The Patriots throw on first down and make another first down.  It’ll be first and goal now.  Brady is over 400 yards passing at this point with a minute and a half to go.  Brady throws on first down and is tackled at the one.  On second down the Patriots run for the TD.  They will, obviously, go for two at this point.  The Patriots get across the line on the two point conversion and the flag is on Atlanta.  It’s a tie game with fifty-seven seconds left.

7:07PM:  The Patriots kick it off and the Falcons will start from deep in their own territory with less than a minute remaining.  The Falcons pass for a first down, have no time outs and it’s at the 23.  The clock is running and the pass is a short gain and they down it.  Now it’s third down with 18 seconds remaining.  The long pass is almost picked off but it’s out of bounds, and the Falcons will punt it away with eleven seconds remaining.  New England decides to ice the punter.  The Patriots fair catch the punt and there are three seconds left.  It’s looking like the first OT Super Bowl ever.  The Patriots fake the down run it and the Patriots runner looks like he’s down for the count.  He’ll be spending the rest of this game in the locker room.  That does not look.  Let’s see if the Falcons coin luck holds for overtime.  NE calls heads, it is heads, and they elect to receive.

7:16PM:  And we see the creepy “The Handmaiden’s Tale” before the funny Sprint commercial is reprised (“Daddy’s dead,” one of the best lines of the Super Bowl).  And then there is a funny Olivia Munn commercial about Proactive, and a scary commercial about student debt [4].

7:18PM:  After the touchback, the Patriots will start at the 25.  James White tries to tip-toe and he ends up tip-toeing out of bounds.  It will be 2nd and 4.  The Patriots pass and Amendola gets another first down catch, this one around midfield.  On first down Brady throws it and it will be a first down around the Atlanta 40.  The next pass is tackled right away and it gets less than nowhere.  On 2nd and 13 the Patriots pass for a first down to Edelman.  It’s first down at the Atlanta 25.  The Patriots throw a screen pass and get another first down after getting some downfield blocks.  It’s first and ten again and Brady has an empty backfield–he throws into the end zone and it’s incomplete, but there is a flag, and it’s pass interference defense, and it will be first down at the two for the Patriots.  On first down Brady throws it and it’s incomplete.  On second and goal, the Patriots run it in, and it’s a touchdown.  The Patriots come from 28-3 down to win the first over OT Super Bowl 34-28, making the largest Super Bowl comeback of all time.  I must say I’m not happy that the Patriots won, even if it was a great game.

7:27PM:  And the celebrations and cheering go all around and now it’s time for the awards.  Tom Brady was the first QB to ever win five Super Bowls and he passed for almost 500 yards, and so it’s likely that he will win the MVP there.  The Super Bowl party here is clearing out, as almost everyone is going home here.

7:31PM:  And there’s a Hyundai commercial tied to the US military in freezing Poland, or what looks like a base just outside Portland at this point.  Even though the awards are going to be passed out, and there are still some more commercials, including “break up” MetroPCS commercial, we’ll call it a wrap here.

[1] See, for example:

[2] See, for example:

[3] See, for example:

[4] See, for example:

About nathanalbright

I'm a person with diverse interests who loves to read. If you want to know something about me, just ask.
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