Recently, one of the radio stations in the area, a new alternative station I sometimes listen to, has been heavily promoting a brand new single by a brand new band. By heavily promoting, I mean that the song has played twice a day during the times I am listening to the radio (which is not a very long time, so it’s probably playing a lot more often than that). Despite the fact that the song is played often (and it’s a catchy tune, if an immoral one, which I am about to get into), the station has never identified the artist or the song. It took a fair amount of investigation to find out that the song is called “Reverse” and the band is called SomeKindaWonderful in that ridiculously post-grunge way of having specific and unusual ways of putting one’s name (see, for example, DAUGHTRY and AWOLNATION to give but two examples). Anyway, the song itself has a point that is a bit disturbing, but highly relevant to the way we live our lives, and I would like to talk about it today.
The general theme of the song , which is sung in reverse (hence the title) is that the singer/songwriter feels bad about the end of a relationship because he cheated on his girl with some other girl and his girl caught him cheating when he was sleeping in the other girl’s bed at 4AM, and he is tantalized by the legs and long hair of other girls even though it hurts him more than he can bear to be disloyal, and so on and so on. One would hope that most people would not be so cavalier about disloyalty with a loved one and try to blame it on the fact that girls often have sexy legs and beautiful long hair (which is true, but also irrelevant to one’s loyalty). Also, if breaking up hurts so much, one would not repeat so often and so casually that one would probably cheat again and again simply because one was tempted. Has no one ever heard of self-control? Seriously.
That said, there is something this song painfully conveys that we would do well to think about and ponder at some length, as it is an issue that many of us (myself included) have to wrestle with. Most of us, if not all of us, are caught in a delicate bind between multiple tendencies. For one, we all tend to dislike painful ruptures and pain in general. On the other hand, we also tend to behave, out of lust or stubbornness, in ways that cause ourselves and others a lot of pain. We are torn between wanting a do-over without really committing ourselves to a change of behavior, between not wanting to hurt ourselves and others but also not suffering enough because of our errors and faults to seriously commit to changing our ways, especially because we only see a few ways possible for us to achieve our longings in any sort of fashion.
There are a few aspects of this song that resonate with my own personal experience as well as with the general culture at large. For one, this song appears to be following a very noticeable trend in dealing with disloyalty and also the pain of fooling around with sex but not respecting others or ourselves enough to develop self-control . It is hard to point fingers at others without pointing fingers at ourselves, though . Contentment in life is not easy, nor is it easy to encourage others to behave in a more proper matter, or behave honorably ourselves given the constant temptations we have to face. Perhaps we ought to aid our consciences in their job by listening when they hurt. Finding a way to fulfill our longings, even gradually rather than suddenly, and carefully rather than rashly, so that our minds can listen to our hearts and the hearts of others with compassion and understanding but also with wisdom, is a very difficult task, and I would not pretend to do it well. Nevertheless, that is what we ought to seek for ourselves, as long as we don’t want to wake up in someone else’s bed and be sworn at by our understandably upset partners. The responsibility for keeping our hearts and bodies safe, and our relationships strong, lies with us. It would be nice if we were all a little better at our jobs.
 Lyrics found here: http://www.directlyrics.com/somekindawonderful-reverse-lyrics.html
 See, for example:
 Witness, for example, the incredible awkwardness of my own life: