Book Review: 25 Questions You’re Afraid To Ask About Love, Sex, And Intimacy

25 Questions You’re Afraid To Ask About Love, Sex, And Intimacy, by Dr. Juli Slattery

[Note:  This book was provided free of charge by Moody Press.  All thoughts and opinions are my own.]

No joke, this is one of the most awkward books I have ever read.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the fact that a large percentage of my closest friends since time immemorial have been female, I have long been subject to the awkward conversations with my friends when they feel it necessary to tell me why they have to rush off to the store because of their monthly periods.  This book had the same kind of feel to it, not that it was impure or wrong, but rather because it was akin to reading to a forthright discussion of various feminine complaints when I was simply unable to do anything except for read sympathetically.  Obviously, it goes without saying that this book is written by a woman about women for women [1], and that any men who bother to read this book will feel at least as awkward and uncomfortable about it as I did.  C’est la vie.  It happens often enough that I at least was able to view the book at least with some understanding of where the author was going at, even though it must be freely admitted that this book was not remotely aimed at me.

There are likely quite a few people who are afraid to ask some of the questions answered in this book.  In a bit more than 200 pages the author deals rapidly with questions about sexuality, why guys may have hangups about sex and intimacy, what the proper boundaries are for relationships, and why women should give up the “mommy porn,” a term I had previously been unfamiliar with.  The author also deals with compassion and understanding with women who do not enjoy sex with their husbands and has a nuanced discussion of masturbation that deals thoughtfully with the tradeoffs involved.  These are not the sort of subjects that tend to come up very often in polite conversation, although most of the questions the author addresses, some of them dealing with how to fight without hurting our partners, or how to overcome betrayal or forgive wisely, are questions that a widespread to the point of being nearly universal.  Consistently, the author gives biblical answers to these difficult questions and presents the godly standard of behavior in these areas of life, a daunting standard to be sure.

It should be noted, in case it is not already obvious, that this book has a lot to say about men but says it indirectly to women from the point of view of women.  Men are outsiders in this particular discussion, and the author is rather frank about talking about the widespread nature of addiction to pornography as well as the damage caused by affairs and the insensitivity that men can sometimes show to the anxieties and concerns of their wives.  This is the sort of book that is likely both to offend those who are prim and prudish but will gain no points with those who reject biblical standards of morality.  Nevertheless, if a reader approaches this book with the attitude that the author is going to maintain biblical standards but show compassion for those who struggle with the questions, and a great deal of openness about her own struggles in the areas of intimacy and sexuality, the book has a lot to offer.  And despite my own particular discomfort with the approach of this book not being aimed towards men despite frequently talking about them, the author is certainly someone whose views are worthy of respect, and whose book opens up a conversation into the intersection of our longings and the damages of our past, the acknowledgement that God created us sexual beings to bring us together, even if our own awkwardness and timidity and misfortunes make it harder than it ought to be for us to get together and stay together in loving marriages.

[1] See, for example:

About nathanalbright

I'm a person with diverse interests who loves to read. If you want to know something about me, just ask.
This entry was posted in Book Reviews, Christianity, Love & Marriage and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Book Review: 25 Questions You’re Afraid To Ask About Love, Sex, And Intimacy

  1. Pingback: Book Review: Jesus Is Better Than Porn | Edge Induced Cohesion

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