I have commented a few times about my appreciation of various aspects of Cops and its related shows , and the patterns of human behavior that are seen and that we can find in hopefully unfamiliar contexts that we can then apply to our more mundane lives. One of the consistent questions that cops ask is, “Is there something I should know?” Of course, most people who have something to hide are not generally very candid about what they are up to , and most cops are possessed of a willingness to seek out probable cause or to take advantage of search clauses with people on parole or probation, which makes it all too easy to find contraband when people are not willing to admit their faults at the outset.
Most of the times in life, we lack the same level of resources when it comes to discovering the truth about our lives and our situations, if indeed we would really want to know. Most of us have to rely on others being communicative with us to determine what is really going on, and this is assuming that we can recognize reality and know ourselves and have others know themselves. Nevertheless, the absence of communication is generally a sign that things have gone seriously wrong. In my life I have found that wherever communication has been lacking, that nothing good is going to come out of such situations until such a time as it is possible for communication to resume, and for links to be rebuilt, whether the source of trouble was within the relationship or related to the larger context. Either way, if there is no communication, there will be a lot of trouble.
Given the reality of a lack of communication in a wide variety of spheres, it is worthwhile to determine why communication fails. At times communication fails because it never really begins. When behavior is made extemporaneously in times of great stress and pressure without any kind of overarching plan except to cope with overwhelming problems through buckling and passing the problems onto someone else, it is hard to communicate that to others, given that there is likely to be increased hostility as a result of knowing, but that sort of hostility (along with additional hostility at the cowardice of others) is going to happen anyway. At other times communication fails over the course of a lengthy history of hurts and injuries, leading one or both parties in a given relationship to guard themselves. Additionally, people can be unwilling or unable to express the pressures they are facing from third parties, given a desire to please family members or friends and not open themselves up to further troubles. Often we let the weakest and most tenuous links fail in the midst of unacceptable and intolerable levels of pressure.
What is to be done about this? There is not always very much that we can do about the contexts and the situations that we are involved in. Sometimes the pressures we face are due to large systemic problems that we cannot greatly influence at all. At other times those pressures come from people who may be either indifferent or hostile to our wishes and well-being, and either concerned with themselves or other matters. The same, of course, could be said about us all in certain circumstances. Where we can influence our situations, we should do our best to do so, to make sure to seek out the situations where there is the best communication that combines honesty and kindness (which is by no means an easy task), and to seek out and seek to become people who communicate in such a fashion as well. In the interim, we must at least work on our own attitudes and our own behaviors, which we do have control over, no matter how adverse the circumstances. And if others do not or cannot copy our candid and yet kind communication, at least it can stand as a statement of our own character and integrity no matter the circumstances we have to deal with.
 See, for example:
 See, for example: