This afternoon, about 12:30PM or so, I was woken up from the first deep and good night of sleep I have had in a while. It felt good and refreshing, and deserved. God gives to His beloved peaceful sleep, and it felt good to see and recognize God’s love and protection in my own life, to be free from intolerable stress. I got some business done as I did some preparing, and I was happy to have had such a productive day of affairs, along with making plans for the future. It feels as if a heavy burden has been removed from my slender shoulders, and that I am free to start again. Who knows what the future holds, but my fate is in the hands of my Creator, and He knows what He is doing far better than I do.
I think that everyone could probably use a jubilee. There are situations where all of us would want to hit the “reset” button and start over with a fresh start. Today, the Day of Atonement, is a day all about second chances and reconciliation, and I cannot help but feel those themes very deeply as I ponder over the strange course of my odd life. I am sure that others feel the same way themselves, for their own reasons, and I do not wish to assume that anything I think of will be earth-shattering or new, simply that I feel the symbolism as being particularly deep and appreciate how God has delivered me from evil. And I am grateful for that protection.
Tonight it is late, and I neither want to give too many stories of my mundane day, nor do I wish to expend too much energy as I fast, but I do have much to ponder, and find myself still feeling like it is a bit unreal. I wonder when my mind will catch up with my body. Right now I’m acting on instinct, doing my best to stay active and productive. But sooner or later reality will eventually hit me. Someday.