Book Review: Why You’re Still Single

Why You’re Still Single:  Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not To Get Mad, by Evan Marc Katz & Linda Holmes

This is a rare example of a book aimed at women that at least gives the reason(s) why that it is not written to men:  much of the advice is applicable to both sexes and few men would likely read a book like this directed to them.  I am not sure whether or not this is a reasonable explanation, but at least the first one makes sense [1].  That doesn’t mean that this book is necessarily enjoyable to read but it is somewhat fascinating to look at the tag team between the two authors, one of whom is a single Jewish man in his 30’s, and the other of whom is a single Christian (?) woman who gets the last word in every chapter just as Evan gets the first word in every chapter.  This is a book that you can laugh at as long as it doesn’t strike too close to home, and whose moral standards are clearly not the same as my own–it is striking, for example, that nowhere in this book do the writers tend to think that one would meet a partner in church, which given the rather dismal state of courtship as it relates to church sounds about right.

This slim book of 150 pages is made up of a large number of small chapters that combined make up eight parts, all of which are constructed as dialogues.  The first part looks at things that knock us out of the game:  indecision, desperation, and bitterness.  After that the authors look at insecurity, baggage, having a backbone, and the power of no.  The third part of the book looks at the cattiness and bitchiness and game playing that sabotage attempts at relationships.  The fourth part of the book looks at the problem from transitioning from girl friend to girlfriend, the female portion of the friendzone.  The fifth part of the book looks at lost causes and diminishing returns and choosing the wrong people to date.  The sixth part of the book looks at fighting and arguments and jealousy about the friends of one’s partner.  The seventh part of the book looks at questions of attractiveness and sex.  The eighth and final part of the book looks at missing the signals to get out and stick around, including deal breakers, rose-colored glasses, inequality, and letting the imaginary perfect be the enemy of the very good.

While I would say that the writers of this book are certainly not godly and moral in their perspectives on dating, this is the sort of book that can be profitably read by those who are seriously interested in knowing why they remain single when it seems that the whole world around is pairing up two by two.  Although I tend to be a somewhat prickly reader myself, I found a great deal of interest here that certainly expressed by own struggles and that of other people I know.  The authors are pretty unsparing and fierce in their writings, and they clearly belong to the unsentimental school of thinking that holds people responsible for the happiness and success, and lack thereof, of your life.  On a more positive, side, though, these authors are full of empathy and have clearly done a good bit of reflecting over their own relationships and the struggles to set boundaries and live with a fair amount of consistency.  You may not like everything these authors say–I certainly didn’t–but you will likely find much to think about and reflect on and that is what the book appears to be for.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016/12/25/single-me-out/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2016/11/25/book-review-singles-ministry-handbook/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2013/01/01/between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-the-intractable-dilemma-of-a-single-young-man/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2014/06/11/book-review-a-match-made-in-heaven/

About nathanalbright

I'm a person with diverse interests who loves to read. If you want to know something about me, just ask.
This entry was posted in Book Reviews, Love & Marriage and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Book Review: Why You’re Still Single

  1. Pingback: Book Review: Made For His Pleasure | Edge Induced Cohesion

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