As I mentioned recently , my favorite song from one of Lenny Kravitz’s albums was called “Stillness Of Heart.” This particular feast, I am in need of some stillness of heart, some ability to fulfill the responsibilities I have signed up for without being exhausted, to find sociability with new friends and old, and, God willing, to find some stillness of heart. The last few feasts, for a variety of reasons, have been fairly stressful affairs in their own ways. In 2009 I went to the feast with a sense of some dread, having committed to going to South America, where I ended up serving as a translator/matchmaker for two people who could not speak each other’s languages but wanted to flirt anyway, even as my own physical and emotional health was not doing so well. In 2010 I ended up having to deal with church drama, as well as a particularly overaggressive young lady. In 2011 I was a de facto festival coordinator , which is a hard job, I must admit, in 2012 I had exactly one week to make arrangements for a feast that turned out well even so , and last year my feast was made extremely stressful because of a personal situation that is close to entering its third year.
What do I want out of this feast? I would hope I’m not asking for too much. I’m asking for a good night’s sleep that isn’t interrupted by nightmares, for friendly conversations and activities where I can socialize and feel calm and relaxed, and at least somewhat hopeful that this next year will be more calm and peaceful than the years that have come before. I want to hear messages that provide a good vision of the world to come and help me to better appreciate and enjoy this life I live. I want to feel as if the immense labor of my life is of service to others, genuinely appreciated, and that I might end up being able to have my own wishes and needs fulfilled in life. I want to learn whatever lessons I need to learn, and make whatever corrections to my behavior or attitude that I need to make so that this dry spell of several years of difficult and anxious feasts can be a thing of the past. At some point, I want to see a light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t a train of some kind trying to run me over. Is that too much to ask? Am I being unreasonable?
I do not wish to seem selfish here, for I am not asking for these things only for myself. I see a lot of my friends with the same kind of concerns, people whose feasts are impacted because of lack of funds, or because they feel that they lack the opportunity to socialize because of their responsibilities, or who struggle with panic attacks and other related matters. I do not seek only stillness of heart for myself, but for everyone who is seeking to follow God and enjoy His, wherever they might be. I want everyone to have what they need, and to be in the right spirit to appreciate and enjoy the time that we have been given to enjoy our hearts’ desires (sadly, that might be a bit difficult for some of us). Stillness of heart, and a few days of good cheer and happiness and joy ought not to be too hard for any of us to find, wherever we might happen to spend these days in expectation of a much better world to come for all of us.