When something happens once, especially something bad, it is tempting to set it aside as being due to time and chance and circumstance. However, when the same sort of thing happens over and over again, it becomes time to take stock of what is going on and figure out what can be done about it. Quite frankly, life is traumatic enough when one does not behave foolishly and unwisely as I am prone to do in some areas of my life. When one starts to see patterns, one is no longer dealing with chance, even if one may not be dealing with conscious or deliberate choice. The positive side of matters, though, is that recognition of those patterns can lead to improvements.
It has been hard for me to learn how to trust myself and my own intuition. Often my tendency is to either doubt that I read the signs correctly or to believe that my interpretation, as pessimistic as it sometimes is, reflects the accurate state of affairs. It is my hope that my intuition may eventually serve to help me avoid interpersonal difficulties, and though it is not so highly advanced for that task, nor are my skills in diplomacy, at least it appears that I am becoming gradually more skilled at explaining myself, even if I could probably use a double portion of discernment to overcome my natural deficits in such areas. Maybe someday, if I am fortunate, I will actually listen to the warning signs that go off inside of me and keep myself out of at least some trouble.
Yet if many of my struggles in life and personal difficulties are not by chance, but are the result of fairly consistent patterns developed over the course of a lifetime, so too the development of such noble and virtuous character as I possess has also not been by chance. God has been far more merciful to me than I could have expected given my personal background and history. Such character as I have has been refined by trials, some of them which I have brought on by my own folly, and others where I was simply in the wrong place and the wrong time and could do nothing about except endure. Likewise, I have been greatly benefitted by having people around me who were (and are) a lot wiser than I am about certain matters, and who have been generous with their praise and advice, even if I have not always taken it.
I do not think that my feet have been directed where they have over the course of my existence by chance either, even if the subtleties of the design sometimes (often) escape me, and I do not pretend to be clever enough to discern all of the purposes for various matters. Right now I find myself at an odd crossroads in life, where circumstances have seemed to conspire to force a resolution of personal matters, not merely for my own sake, but also for others. Perhaps my own struggle to behave honorably in spite of everything may be of encouragement to others, who can learn to avoid those areas where I have tended to stumble and also learn from such positive examples as I can provide. Though I am not sure the relationship between my own life and its complications and those of others around me, I am sure at some point there is a connection or a place where personal growth and healing can be an encouragement for others who desire the same for themselves. We have all suffered enough, after all.