For my picture on this blog I have Sonic the Hedgehog walking in a determined fashion with the caption “Haters Gonna Hate” at the bottom.  Today I would like to examine why this is my picture, and what it means to say that “Haters Gonna Hate,” in admittedly poor grammar.  In doing so, I wish to make it a little more plain what I am about, for those who may not be aware.

Whatever we do, whether good or bad, there will be some people who love us (or act as if they do) and some people who hate us.  Whatever our own responsibility for our conduct, what we do cannot force someone else to behave in a loving or civil manner for us, because the way people feel about us is their own problem and not ours, even if it effects us because of their response to those feelings.  But the reactions of people, be they hatred or mistrust or anger, come from in the hearts of those people, not from the people they hate or mistrust or feel angry at.  Just as we must take responsibility for our actions, so must others take responsibility for their feelings and their maturity (or lack thereof) in dealing with those feelings.

If other people hate, that is because hate is in their heart, not because we are worthy of hate.  If other people mistrust us, that is because mistrust is in their hearts, not because we are not worthy of trust.  If other people are angry, that is because anger is in their heart, not because we have done anything to merit such anger.  If people lie to us, it is because deception is in their hearts, not because we do not deserve to be told the truth.  But if we hate, it is because hate is in our hearts.  If we mistrust others, it is because mistrust is in our hearts.  If we are angry, it is because anger is in our hearts.  If we lie, it is because deception is in our hearts.

Likewise, if we are loved, it is because love is in the hearts of others, not because we have earned that love.  If we are respected, it is because respect is in the hearts of others, not because we have necessarily earned respect or esteem.  If we are treated kindly, it is because kindness is in the hearts of others.  And, likewise, if we love, it is because there is love in our hearts.  If we respect, it is because respect is in our hearts.  If we treat others kindly, kindness is in our hearts.  We cannot give to others those feelings that we do not possess.  A feeling must be in our hearts for us to feel it towards others.

It might seem, from the title, that I might focus only on those negative feelings, but that is not the case.  People feel for us either good or bad based on what is in their hearts, and they alone are responsible for that, even if everyone else around them has to suffer the consequences.  The fact that there may be blameworthy (or praiseworthy) qualities within us–all of us have much of each–does not explain or justify why people hate (or love) us.  People do not hate or love for our reasons–they do so for their own reasons, according to their own will, and within the perspective of their own worldview.  We are simply the object (in their minds) or the recipient of those feelings, for better or worse, and despite our own wishes or inclinations or merit.

It is for their own reasons that haters hate, whether we deserve it or not.  (Incidentally enough, the same is true for why lovers love.)  Haters may hate out of desire for what we have, envy for the qualities or positions or possessions we have, out of a fierce disagreement with the positions and worldviews we hold or the way in which we live our lives.  People may hate simply because another person is open or happy or smart or popular or attractive.  There is no limit to the pettiness that is within the human heart, or the way in which it transforms envy, greed, and lust into wrath and hatred, for which we are worthy of condemnation.

Even love can be transformed into hate, if that love is an obsessive and possessive sort of love, that when rejected, turns into horrible loathing.  Lest we forget, that sort of love was one shown by the heir to the throne of Israel (a young man named Amnon) to his beautiful half-sister (Tamar), leading him into rape and incest and eventually leading to his death when he was avenged for his sin by his half-brother Absalom.  This deeply sad tale is told in 2 Samuel 13.  Let none of us assume that we are beyond suffering from this sort of hatred within ourselves or within others directed at us.  We must be prepared to face the darkness within our hearts or shine a light on the darkness of those who are bitterly hostile to us through no fault of our own (necessarily).

Since we cannot control the hatred that others have for us, our responsibility must lie with ourselves.  For one, we must strive, even in the undeserved hostility others show, to be above reproach in our own conduct (to the greatest extent possible).  Furthermore, we must not let the hatred and bitterness of others corrupt us into feeling hatred and bitter towards us.  We must love even our enemies, even those who hate us without a cause, not for their sake or because they deserve it, but for our own sakes and because we cannot let ourselves become like our enemies.  We ought to be better than that, through the help and by the mercy of God, for perhaps our own conduct will serve as a prod for our enemies to repent of their hatred and slander and be restored to sound mental and emotional health, so that we may no longer have to suffer their hatred.  Let us think positively and leave open the opportunity for others to repent–which would be better for us all.