Book Review: The Monogamy Mystery

The Monogamy Mystery: Natural/Unnatural, by John I. Cline

[Note: This book has been provided free of charge by the author in exchange for an honest review. The blog tour this review is a part of has requested for me to share information on the author and where to purchase this book, which is included below [1]]

It is somewhat surprising to me that a data and analysis driven book about the contentious subject of monogamy, with a look at issues of culture and biology and showing an obvious degree of knowledge and expertise would have been published by a small self-publishing firm, which perhaps may be the result of the fact that the author is from the Virgin Islands and is correspondingly not well-known. The obscurity of the author, though, in no way prevents him from making a very thorough analysis of the nature of monogamy. Readers should be aware that it is important to withhold judgment of the book after reading it from the beginning, as the author makes a case for monogamy being unnatural and against the practice of the ancient world (and many other nations, like the Muslim world) that is then addressed with a great deal of sincere and biblical statement backed by both data as well as what amount to qualitative case studies. This is the sort of work that bears the hallmarks of graduate study with its focus on statistical data and attention to research methods (the appendix is a survey that was taken by 150 people in the Virgin Islands, a study that should perhaps be expanded as the basis for a cross-cultural study on beliefs about monogamy in theory and practice for a researcher who is so inclined and has the resources to do so).

Alongside the focus on data and analysis is an immensely personal story, as the author manages to combine his obvious analytical skills with a deeply personal account of his own struggles with lust starting as a young man, and his own two failed marriages, which appear to have been at least in part due to his troubles with infidelity. The author makes a strong appeal for reconciliation on the part of married couples where one has been guilty of adultery and sincerely desires to change his (or her) ways. The author makes some generalizations that may not always be true but seem true in general that women are better able to conceal affairs because of the emotional basis of such affairs among close friends, while men choose less guarded means of infidelity. The author makes a strong appeal for the desirability of monogamous marriage (especially for the sake of the well-being of children), the avoidance of fornication (which creates bad habits which are hard to renounce when one has made a vow to be loyal to one’s spouse), comments on the double standard between men and women (and is suitably critical about it), and also makes an appeal for larger cultural changes that would encourage marriage based on strong friendship and sacrificial love rather than romantic longings alone and overcome the pull towards unfaithfulness and serial monogamy present in contemporary society. Given the course of my life, I can only add my agreement to the author’s arguments, along with a desire that they be read widely and reflected on seriously by as wide a reading audience as possible.

The book is organized in a series of chapters of uneven length that address a wide variety of concerns relating to the naturalness and desirability of monogamy. The book begins with an introduction showing its dialogue form, which many readers may be unfamiliar with. There is a disclaimer stating the views of the book are only those of the author, which is sensible in light of the fact that the beginning of the book states that monogamy is not natural for most species and was not present in early humanity. The early section shows a bit too much credence given to evolutionary biology, and may be offensive to some readers, who would miss the excellent middle and ending portions of the book by stopping their reading at this point. The book then covers chapters involving the sociology of monogamy, the prevalence of infidelity among men and women in society, the mystery of infidelity given that people go into marriage wanting to be faithful and finding themselves betrayed by poor habits of communication and a lack of love and respect and friendship with spouses, an exploration of good and bad reasons to get married, a focus on repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation in the aftermath of acknowledged infidelity, a chapter on the necessity of receiving help from God in order to be faithful, a word to the young about behaving in such a way as not to harm one’s future marriage prospects, and a statement that gives the author’s final position on the worth of monogamy despite its difficulties. The appendix provides the survey that was used to provide the statistics the book cites on fidelity and biographical information is included that shows the author to not only be a man of religion, but also a businessman, showing the church-business alliance that exists in the Virgin Islands and many other places. Overall, despite the difficult beginning, the author makes an eloquent and deeply personal appeal for monogamy that includes data as well as personal testimony. The different elements of the argument are woven together skillfully, directed at married people and single folk alike, and the resulting book is one that is of great credit to the author and to his sincere struggles with faithfulness in marriage, a struggle that many people share.

[1] See, for example:

Webpage: http://www.johnicline.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Monogamy-Mystery/756792974380277

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Johnc3313

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/JohnICline/

Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/The-Monogamy-Mystery-Natural-Unnatural/dp/0692299009/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413576700&sr=8-1&keywords=John+I.+Cline

Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-monogamy-mystery-john-i-cline/1120393770?ean=9780692299005

Those wishing to participate in a giveaway for this book can check the link below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway