Very frequently I run into people who seem somewhat embittered about the course of their lives. This bitterness seems particularly common when people feel as if they have wasted years, even decades, on bad relationships and seemingly forgotten devotion to people and institutions that have fallen apart or that have behaved with unkindness and even treachery to that loyal service. Others feel bitter or discouraged about having to deal with the same problems and the same crises for what seems like forever, never moving on to the places that they would prefer to reach. Whether these struggles are with material difficulties, chronic health problems, or such emotional difficulties as loneliness, it is immensely wearying to not see any progress for years and years with the same problems, despite one’s own best efforts at self-improvement with the help of our Creator. Given that we all know we have a short time on this earth (though we do not know how short it is), to waste even five or ten years (much less decades) without any apparent reward for our efforts seems as if our time has been wasted in the worst way.

I call these sorts of experiences “years of the locust,” and I have known quite a few of them in my time. In fact, most of my life, in one way or another, could be termed that as a result of the difficult struggles I have faced in achieving a life of honor and dignity and worth, where my rather simple and straightforward longings were fulfilled. I get this expression, which is certainly not unique to me, from Joel 1:2-4, which reads: “Hear this, you elders, and give ear, all you inhabitants of the land! Has anything like this happened in your days, or even in the days of your fathers? Tell your children about it, let your children tell their children, and their children another generation. What the chewing locust left, the swarming locust has eaten; what the swarming locust left, the crawling locust has eaten; and what the crawling locust left, the consuming locust has eaten.”

Often, when we are reflecting in what are particularly challenging times, it may seem as if we have nothing left at all for the hard work we have put into relationships and institutions over the years. Most of us, if we are reflective and self-critical, will recognize that there is always some element of personal responsibility in the state of our lives, even if we will all defend ourselves from the full onslaught by pointing (reasonably) to circumstances beyond our control. We take risks, and sometimes those risks do not pay off; sometimes they may even spectacularly fail. We may serve loyally and well with our strengths but be undone by our weaknesses and how they clash with the weaknesses of others. Certainly there is nothing unusual in any of this. We live in a world that is often hostile or at best indifferent to our hopes and plans, so it is no wonder if our efforts do not always (or often) pay off. What is remarkable is that they pay off at all where we can find pockets and oases of love and goodwill in the midst of the hostility and indifference. Let us treasure that.

It is all too easy to get caught up in self-pity and despondency when we reflect on the state of our lives and our world. We have some glimpse of what we are capable of, and we seek (sometimes with difficulty) to find those avenues where our talents and gifts and longings and ambitions to be honed and developed. Yet there is often a great deal of good that can come from years in the wilderness, including a greater humility and a lot more patience. We learn to navigate the thin line between accepting responsibility for ourselves while knowing that our own strength and wisdom are small and that we cannot rely on ourselves to the exclusion of other resources in the face of this savage world we call home. We also gain the opportunity to reflect that for those who are godly, this short life we spend as human beings is only time in a spiritual womb, where we grow into the beings that we will someday become, God willing. Is the time a baby spends in the womb kicking time wasted? Not at all, and neither is our time wasted so long as our character is built and refined.

For years of the locust are not meant to destroy us. That could easily be done. Rather, they are meant to refine us, to help us strip away the corruption that we take with us from this world or that we possess from our natures. We are all gemstones in the rough that must be polished over time, or gold and silver that must be refined before we can shine. If this life were all we had, the injustices and suffering of this present evil world would be intolerable. As it is, it is unacceptable. Looking back on the course of my own life, I am certainly a better man than I would have been without my life’s trials, which have taught me a great deal of compassion and tenderness for others that I would otherwise not have, and would most certainly never show otherwise. It has turned my native intensity against injustice and wickedness while stripping away a great deal of the self-righteousness and arrogance that the young and talented naturally possess without any effort. Since the end result of our travails is worthwhile, the years of the locust are not without purpose, and so they are not wasted time, but rather like the time a piece of pottery spends in the kiln before it can be painted and shown off to the world.

For, as Joel 2:23-27 says: “Be glad then, you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Eternal your God; for He has given you the former rain faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you–the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. The threshing floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil. So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent from among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Eternal your God, who has dealt wondrously with you, and My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel; I am the Eternal your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame.” Let us not despair in our years of the locust, for they will be restored to us and we will be the better for it.