So far in my life I have had difficulties keeping in touch. I am very good at responding to messages that are sent to me (unless I deliberately choose to ignore them), but I have struggled with sending messages to people for no reason “just because.” While I’m not a particularly mercenary friend or acquaintance, and I have little problem providing updates on a blog (for example) about how I am doing (with the encouragement that such information can be passed on to others), I have a difficult time sending messages or doing anything without either some pattern to it or for a specific and deliberate reason. I’m just not a very spontaneous person, I suppose.
This has not been a new pattern of developing in my life. For example, when my father was alive I would talk with him and keep in touch because we both were best able to work within a pattern. As it was, I we would talk on the phone every Sabbath, usually in the morning, as I often have gone to church in the afternoon. When I lived in California and Ohio, my mother and I would talk once a week, usually on Sunday mornings. When I had long distance girlfriends in New England and Texas, I would try to talk with them every evening starting at 9PM, when cell phone minutes were free, for whatever length of time was necessary (sometimes it averaged two or three hours a night). So, it’s not as if I am adverse to keeping in touch, but rather that I have to make it a habit and a pattern because if I have to do it on the spur of the moment, it’s not going to happen. Knowing and being aware of this tendency, I try to work around it.
Since I have been in Thailand it has been more difficult for me to talk with people back home. I do have skype, but my laptop doubles as a mini-oven, and its tendency to overheat rapidly makes it difficult to carry on long conversations on skype or to use more than one program at a time (and I must concede I enjoy being on the internet a lot). That said, one of the reasons I have written so much about my classes, as well as about my travels within the Chiang Mai area, and also the politics and geopolitics of Southeast Asia (as frightening as they are sometimes) is because I want people back home who know me to have a good idea about what is going on, and to have some way of keeping in touch with me through Facebook (even if I can’t reply to comments) as well as through my blog. I like people to be able to know what I am up to, even if I’m not always the best person at sending messages out of the blue to give updates.
So, if you are a friend or family member of mine, don’t be a stranger. Even though I am many thousands of miles away (almost exactly on the other side of the world), I still want to hear from you–so send me comments on my blog if there is something you want to know or express, or send me e-mails. I’m only as far away as an e-mail, even if it’s just of the “I’m thinking of you variety.” Believe me, it means a lot more than I can say to know that others are thinking about me, and that I am not forgotten.
Edge Induced Cohesion 
I have been a stranger for the past few days… It’s been difficult on this end of things. Fathers’ Day was hard to take, especially when Jim was able to chat with his dad able the little things: baseball (how well the Pirates are doing for once!), the weather, etc. The very sad part of it all was that his other three sisters are feuding with June and, since their dad lives with her, they didn’t call to wish him a happy Father’s Day… their resentment toward her outweighed their love for him. Love is an action verb; not merely a warm fuzzy feeling in one’s heart. People must live their love, even if it means overcoming their grievances toward others in order to let the ones they care about know how they feel–before it’s too late to tell them. Life is too short, as we both know all too well.
Even though thousands of miles separate us, you are only just a thought away. This brings you near to us constantly. My inability to be online for the past several days has contributed to your feelings of isolation and I am very sorry for that; however, we must all take time and have the space to grieve as we must. Just know that you are not cut off from my thoughts, emotions and prayers. They are ever with you and, hopefully, I will be able in the future to be more vigilant in providing actual ongoing contact with you. Lovingly, MOM
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Only a very intuitive person would have understood the implicit point I was making, and I appreciate your comments. Then again, as a very strongly intuitive person myself I tend to be extremely indirect in the way I discuss what I am feeling. I received an e-mail a couple of days ago which bothered me because people were joking about my coming home with a Thai wife. I had to reply that I think that very unlikely–not because there is any shortage of attractive young women here, but because there are so few people around right now (really only my fellow teachers and maybe one or two of the students) that I can engage on any serious intellectual level.
It’s a shame that Jim’s sisters can’t grow up–when are people supposed to act like adults instead of squabbling kids? Life is indeed far too short to be wasted on grudges and snits.
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My dear friend, you are cherished and much loved.
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And the same is true for you–I am praying for your job situation, in the hopes that you are able to receive good news and a good opportunity, and that God grant you the deepest desires of your heart.
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I don’t know who you are but I sure am enjoying all your articles especially the ones which deal with the recent crisis. Very lucid thinking. Clarifies a good defense if ever challenged.
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I don’t know who you are either, but thank you for the appreciation. Are you related at all to James Reamy? I used to live in the Los Angeles area (where I went to college at USC between 1999 and 2003), and he married a young lady with whom I am acquainted).
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