Though I’m mostly a serious person, I am profoundly interested in comedy [1] (as well as the psychological profile of people predisposed to be comedians), and one of the most intriguing aspects of comedy to me is the roast.  Now, I suppose the fact that the word roast has food connotations (as in, “My friend Robin Williams invited me to a roast, and there wasn’t even any food there!  I was looking around for the beef and lamb, and all I saw around me were a bunch of overdressed people drinking wine and making fun of The Situation.”) probably helps matters along.

For those who are not aware of the term “roast” as it relates to comedy, a roast is a comedy event where someone is honored by having other people make fun of them, where the honored person is expected to show the grace of not taking the stories and insults personally, and by showing themselves as thick-skinned therefore worthy of honor and respect, even as the comedians doing the roasting are themselves made fun of in turn [2].

It may seem odd that comedy would choose to honor people by making fun of them, or that in a thin-skinned culture such as our own, the polite endurance of ridicule would be considered as a praiseworthy quality (though I have to say I like the moral implications that even a society like hours can show honor to people who don’t take themselves too seriously and whose sense of dignity is not so fragile as depending on people being polite and flattering all the time).  Nonetheless, if we remember that comedy is merely the public face of irreverence and sarcasm, a roast is a way of celebrating those whose robust sense of self is able to handle the cruelties of the world, and is a genuine sign of respect, if an unusual one.  Of course, just like a roast, the guest of honor (whether it is a figure like Donald Trump or a lamb or cow) is ruthlessly skewered, and appreciated for the good grace of taking it patiently and graciously.

Not all people who claim to be comedians seem to understand the rules of a roast very well.  In one recent example of a roast, Donald Trump was honored on Comedy Central by a group of very funny people, and one spectacularly unfunny fellow nicknamed “The Situation,” whose claim to fame is being from the “Jersey Shore.”  Lest we laugh too much at him for causing a situation and for being terrible as a comedian, let us determine why he failed on such a public stage and how in slightly less public circumstances we may avoid repeating the error ourselves.

For one, the fellow forgot (or simply did not understand) that the subject of the roast (Mr. Trump) was being honored at the event.  In roasting someone, one cannot forget that one is honoring them through your humor.  So, for example, making fun of Donald’s trumps public foibles (for example, his three marriages, the fact that he is famous for a catchphrase “You’re fired,” that is full of ironic meaning in these times, the fact that he has a notorious combover and the questionable judgment of trying to build luxury condominiums in downtown Tampa when the Albrecht family of western Germany won’t even build a Trader Joe’s here), would all be kosher at at a roast, like having beef or lamb, or chicken, so long as one does not forget that one is honoring someone through making fun of them gently enough that you give a left-handed compliment to someone’s worth and significance as a person.

On the other hand, there are some things that are not kosher at a roast.  For example, attempting to enforce a double standard of taking yourself seriously while ridiculing someone else is not kosher, like roasting pork or putting some shrimp on the barbie.  By the same standard you roast others, you will be roasted yourself.  Consider it the comedy version of the golden rule–by making fun of others you open yourself up as a subject of ridicule.  If you are gentle and witty with others, you have the right to expect them to be gentle and witty with you.  If you are crude with others you cannot have reason to complain about being treated in an insulting manner, unless by doing so the people who treat you better than you have treated them (like Donald Trump and the Situation) do so out of condescension to your inferiority as a cultured person who understands his social graces and obvious incompetence as a comedian.

Comedy, in such an event as a roast, comes from a very primal sort of instinct.  Like boxers, comedians often come from disadvantaged backgrounds.  Many of them are minorities (Jews, blacks, Asians, Latinos in the United States) or are people who come from disadvantaged or marginalized backgrounds (Southern rednecks, survivors of sexual abuse).  At some primal level comedy is a survival skill by which someone makes fun of themselves (lightly and ironically) in order to pre-empt the much harsher and nastier ridicule of others, as well as make light of pain and suffering that might otherwise be too crushing of a burden to bear.  For this reason comedy is the other side of tragedy, the laugh that distracts one from crying, the joke that ironically serves as a complaint, but without being whiny or melodramatic.

It is for these serious reasons that I enjoy roasts.  For one, I like seeing people not take themselves too seriously, as I’ve dealt in my life mostly with people who are at least as thin-skinned (if not more thin-skinned) than I am, with people whose sense of dignity is so fragile that unpleasant truths lead them to threaten libel lawsuits, wish someone else dead 490 times, or try to beat the truthteller into a bloody pulp.  Some people can’t handle the truth, or take a joke, and such are the people who are not worthy of the honor of a roast.  Such an honor is only for someone whose self-worth is such that they can take it.  No insecure wimps and preening bullies need apply for the honor of being roasted.  But save me a leg quarter of chicken, please.

[1] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/on-the-unity-of-tragedy-comedy-and-history/

[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roast_%28comedy%29