In life, sometimes the most important aspects of our lives are dealing with dissatisfaction and lacking. None of us, no matter how wealthy or powerful, gets everything that we want when we want it and how we want it. A great deal of the time, that which we want may either be entirely impossible, such as stopping time or avoiding some kind of death or suffering or loss while living in this world. At other times, that which we earnestly desire may not be possible, but may not be good for us, but may instead have legal and moral and emotional and other consequences on our lives, which we may not be wise enough to recognize. At other times, that which we want may not depend on us, but may depend on other people, some of whom may not be directly involved but may be connected for other reasons.

Let me give a few examples. Because I have been at least somewhat aware of and knowledgeable about professional wrestling since childhood [1], an example comes to mind readily from the scripted world of the WWE. For the last few weeks, there has been some manufactured drama about an overachieving and undersized but popular wrestler named Daniel Bryan, whose wife was a WWE employee as a diva. The “face” of the organization, one Stephanie McMahon, attempted to use threats against the wife’s employment as leverage against the husband, who had been brutally injured (apparently) in a staged beatdown a few weeks ago. It was interesting, if sad, that the wife felt the need to quit WWE in order to keep her former boss from having any leverage against her husband. Although the storyline itself was scripted, it is certainly the sort of situation that can occur in real life, and an area where everyone can end up frustrated and feeling losses as a result of conflicts of interest and the attempt of people to influence others through threatening harm to loved ones. In such a case, what is wanted is often illegitimate, for if it were otherwise one would simply ask for it directly and not attempt to coerce it.

There are other fairly common examples where someone doesn’t get what they want. For example, if there is someone who is used to being able to enjoy flirtation or romance with everyone that they show interest in, then any barriers placed to success in that sort of endeavor, be it the shyness or timidity of the person of interest, or other contextual difficulties like the disapproval of authority figures, is likely to be a greatly unwanted and resented burden. In such a case as this, that which is forbidden can easily become more attractive, which tends to make life unnecessarily complicated and fraught with all kinds of risks and dangers to our well-being. Often, what is the most important aspect of our destiny is not the specific situation itself, which is usually (mercifully) temporary, but our response to it. Do we choose to be people of honor, and deal as gracefully as we can with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and malign circumstances, or are we filled with the intense desire to rebel against what we view as undue restriction, or become filled with envy at anyone else enjoying what we are (unjustly) denied. So much of life depends not on circumstances themselves, but upon our response to those circumstances.

For a period of about five years, from early 2006 until early 2011, I was not allowed to give any kind of sermonette messages in my local congregations (and, for that matter, I did not have the opportunity to do so anywhere else), largely because of something I had written that caused offense. As my pastor at the time said, there was no question about my speaking talents or biblical knowledge, but there was (unfortunately) question about my character. Although I had some friends among the local congregation who wanted me to speak, I refused to allow myself to become embittered by the loss of that opportunity that I greatly enjoyed, knowing that it was not in my hands and that if I allowed myself to become bitter over the injustice the results would be far more lasting and damaging than the loss of a couple dozen speaking opportunities in the local congregation. God willing, the day will come when my character will be obvious and refined enough that it will not be blackened by dark suspicions. Until that day, I patiently wait, knowing that I’m the last person who gets everything they want, but God willing, I will get everything I need.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/12/24/book-review-samson/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/08/12/redneck-theater/