While I am by no means perfectly honest as a person, I think that most people who know me would probably agree that I am more than a little bit too honest and candid for my own good. The reasons for that are somewhat complex, and I would not wish to discuss them in detail, but rather I would like to ponder the repercussions of my blunt candor as well as the way that I rather unconsciously end up being a nexus of communication within the places I inhabit, and not all of those communications are necessarily very much appreciated. One of the major reasons is that whatever the gifts I have been given, being a courtier skilled at flattering statements that imply what is false without necessarily lying is not any part of the skills I have been given [1], to say nothing of the skill of making bold-faced lies without any compunction. My polite understatements certainly are mostly gentle and kind, but those who are wise can certainly discern the truth, and know that I considerably understate concerns.

There have been plenty of times where candor has not always served me well. I don’t think it is necessarily worth discussing those particular incidents in detail, except to point out that most of them involve some rather similar factors, and those factors include a wide difference between what people are willing or able to do and what they desire other people to believe. The larger the gap between reality and appearances, the greater the potential for candor to be a problem. These conditions exist in many parts of the world, in many institutions, and within many people. Few of us could really bear to be viewed for who we really are, and anyone who even approaches a level of candor of honesty and openness has to deal with the repercussions of candor, including the fact that people will often take advantage of the space between the openness of others and their own secretive hypocrisy.

Given the suffering that can result from honesty in a world that is corrupt, what benefits are there to honesty? The famed French free thinker Voltaire, a man whose intellectual career included a great deal of hostility towards Christianity and a gleeful pointing out of the corruption and hypocrisy of his time. Yet he, despite his critical mindset and disdain towards the Christianity he was familiar with, he appreciated the religious devotion of his wife and his servants. Why was this? As he himself said, “If God did not exist, one would have to invent him. I want my attorney, my tailor, my servants, even my wife to believe in God, and I think I shall then be robbed and cuckolded less often [2].” Here was a man who deeply believed in his right to critique, but did not wish others to behave dishonorably to him. Like many people, he was caught between a desire that other people behave honestly and with integrity and between his own desire to be free of restrictions to his own conduct.

Honesty is a virtue that cuts both ways. Pursued inconsistently, and often without kindness, it is often a mask for viciousness and cruelty as well as the source of a great deal of uncertainty in life. How do we know that the kindness that we see, as rarely as we see it, is merely polite silence and the desire to avoid conflict, or a prudent desire to appear to be more friendly and agreeable than we actually are, or an honest appreciation and agreement and enjoyment of company. Too much honest on the part of others forces us to recognize that within us we are not nearly as perfect as we would like to appear, and makes us feel uncomfortable about our own pretense and dishonesty that we live for our own benefits. Oh, that we could live honestly, safe from the dishonesty and treachery of others, and sensitive to the concerns of others even as we live in integrity ourselves. Such a complicated tension we live in because we do not have the will or the desire to remake ourselves in the image of our ideals.

[1] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/09/10/i-dont-want-to-be-a-courtier/

[2] http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0901806/bio