It might seem odd to those who have only known me recently but I have not been a particularly popular person throughout my entire life. Nevertheless, it is an intriguing thing to be wanted. One has to examine the reasons one is wanted. As was stated by Anne Eliot in Persuasion, it is better to be wanted for in improper form rather than not to be wanted at all. Additionally, one has to examine the benefits that come from being wanted along with the inevitable tradeoffs. Nothing in life, after all, comes without tradeoffs, but coming from where I’m from, the tradeoffs of at least mild levels of popularity in certain aspects of life are generally worth the tradeoffs that I have found so far. It is a modest sort of accomplishment, I suppose.

When I was a teenager, many of the young ladies I went to church with who were about my age were infatuated with an older guy who happened to be an athletic basketball player in our congregation. At the time, I thought it was really unfair that young ladies were not willing to give any sort of time of day to guys their own age, but were so interested in a much older guy. To his credit, something that I have come to respect more as I have gotten older (understanding his admirable restraint through that painful instructor of experience), he refused to take advantage of the young women who were infatuated with him. I find it interesting, given where I am, that rather than proving to be an obstacle to my own desires, I have found the example of this honorable man, who is married with a couple of children himself now, to be an example to follow that has proven to be a difficult challenge for myself.

In the early 1980’s there was a singer named Billy Squier whose hits included a song called “Everybody Wants You.” He had a glam-rock arena-ready sound, and his taste for glam eventually got the better of him. After releasing what is widely agreed to be the worst music video of all time [1], he found out much to his chagrin that instead of being a popular and well-regarded rock singer who was well-wanted, he was instead thought to be un pato feliz, to put it somewhat delicately. Instead of everyone wanting him, no one wanted to hear him sing or see him prance around, nor could anyone take his music seriously ever again. One single mistake ruined his career for good.

When we are wanted, our lives tend to resemble the virtuous aspects of a demand curve. We are faced with choices in what sort of ways we wish to allot the limited resources of time and energy that are available to us. There is only so much supply of the time and energy we have to give, and it feels very flattering to be wanted by so many, to the extent where it can provide us with the opportunities to navigate our lives by choosing from among those tasks and projects we find to be the most interesting, the most exciting, or the most remunerative, depending on our interests and inclinations. It can be a bit hard for some of us to turn others down, to say no, but it is a good thing to have enough opportunity that we can choose among those we like the best. That is a blessing we can all be thankful for, in whatever form we find it, and for whatever reasons.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_Me_Tonite