A California country club has prevented a nationally-recognized local coach from speaking at the club because of her status as a survivor of sexual abuse from school teachers during her teenage years, while the principal who shielded those sexual offenders remains free and is about to retire without having been punished in any way [1]. Even though the coach, who now is an associate coach at the University of California at Berkley, planned on talking about the subject of how the country club and sports helped her during her youth, the fact that she is a survivor of child sexual abuse (at the hands of teachers, no less) makes her a persona non grata at the country club, which makes no sense whatsoever but which is a symbol of the sort of difficulties that people face in coming clean about their past experiences with abuse.

The Moraga Country Club is banning a free swimming clinic by a recently awarded NCAA Associate Coach of the Year simply because her status as as high-profile survivor of rape at the hands of two teachers while a middle schooler is too uncomfortable for them. I find it difficult to speak politely about such people who would rather prevent the opportunity that difficult subjects might be faced, difficult subjects that some people have to live with every single moment of their lives, whether awake or asleep, rather than accept the brutal reality of the world and some of the immense wickedness of people with it who exploit positions of trust to gratify their desires to abuse and exploit others. Instead of openly facing the complicity of local leaders in such horrible crimes, the Moraga Country Club has chosen to attempt to silence the victim. This is unfortunately just another aspect of the conspiracy of silence in such areas.

Rape and sexual abuse are intensely shameful for the victim, while the perpetrators of the crime often bask in the glory and honor of their positions as teachers or coaches or priests. While abusers and their professional enablers, like Bill Walters, the former principle of Cal Assistant Coach Kristen Cunnane (who is my about my age, interestingly enough), go free, survivors of child abuse are revictimized by a world that wants to see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil about itself, to protect itself from the painful truth by a conspiracy of silence. Because the truth sets of free from things that we wish to hold on to, in some areas and regarding some subjects the truth is simply not allowed to be spoken.

Despite my critical attitudes towards our approach to athletics, I for one am very glad that Ms. Cunnane was able to find relief from her horrible ordeal of rape at the hands of her teachers in sports, and that she has found success in her profession as a coach of other athletes. I hope that she can find a pool somewhere else other than the unworthy Moraga Country Club where she can discuss her life and how her commitment to sports and to helping others improved her own life. Knowing her full story would make it even more impressive for her audience. Given the monumental percentage of people who suffer from child abuse (somewhere around a fifth to a fourth of all children), there are certainly a few children in her clinic that would know exactly how the coach feels, and to provide some hope and inspiration for a survivor of such a horrible crime is far more noble and worthy than to preserve a conspiracy of silence simply because some people cannot bear to face the truths that others cannot escape.

[1] http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool-prep-rally/former-sexually-abused-champion-coach-banned-speaking-her-104759781.html