Fifty Shades Of They: Insights That Bring Life To Your Relationships, by Ed Young

[Note: This book was provided free of charge by the author in exchange for an honest review.]

On the one hand, this book is a bit of a tease. It is around 150 pages long and contains 50 very short chapters. Its title, and the mostly grayscale title page, makes a clear joke about Fifty Shades Of Gray, possibly with the hope of luring some readers who are fans of that book series. That said, the witty nature of the title and its clever attention to design gives a fair indication of the book, which is a fun read from a longtime minister who neither pulls any punches nor shows himself ignorant of how to deal with the world as it is. As a result, this book is both informative and challenging as well as an enjoyment to read because of its genuine sense of humor and wit.

In terms of its content, this book focuses on the issue of relationships. Beginning with a serious story about one of the author’s school chums who ended up becoming a murderer, the novel points out the risks and rewards of the people we let get close to us, using “they” as a shorthand for the people around us and their influence (as well as our influence on them). What may initially seem like a bad pun ends up being a fairly pointed title, as this book digs deep into scriptural wisdom, personal storytelling, and thoughtful examination of what kind of friends and spouses we should want that we should be. It is filled with both humor and seriousness, both warning as well as praise. It should be noted that the author is especially filled with praise for his wife, stating that he would not have been nearly as successful as he is without her. He is also full of praise for the other leaders of his congregation, showing himself wise to praise those closest to him and show gratitude for their friendship and intimacy.

What separates this book from being either a superficial look at the issue of relationships or merely a novelty book is its attention to areas of serious depth and importance. This book has some challenging and difficult advice, including the book’s uncompromising position on married people avoiding close and intimate friendships with people of the opposite sex they are not married to as a way of building fences against emotional or physical affairs. The author’s comments about commitment, and about the need for honesty and encouragement about friends is also important. The author even gives a couple of chapters to the subject of the Sabbath and the need for rest, including date nights for married couples to show a commitment to continued courtship even after marriage. The book manages to avoid being overly sermonizing as a result of its commitment to humor, as the author appears to know very well that strong medicine goes down best with a lot of honey, even though the book is pointed even in its humorous and witty moments. For those readers who are willing to take a flyer on a short book with an enigmatic and daring title, this book rewards its readers with a brief and easy-to-read feast of thoughtful and short insights on relationships from a wide variety of perspectives that will merit rumination and reflection afterward.