When one goes through a day bleary-eyed after a six-hour sleep interrupted thrice by nightmares, plagued with headaches all the while, it is an easy matter to wonder if one’s headaches have been overdetermined. Was it the shortage of comforting REM sleep that led to the headaches, or the slight tear that might have been present in one of the contacts placed in the eye in the morning, or from the low pressure system that finally brought rain after days of gloriously bright sunshine, or a clenched jaw from determinedly dealing with endless repetitions on the same theme of personal business, or some other cause that led to this persistent tension headache? How many of the factors would have to be removed for the headache to pass? Surely, it would be unjust to seek to medicate away such a well-earned pain, given that any one of the factors alone would have been sufficient to bring it upon me.

Often I wonder with regards to my body’s fairly persistent but low-grade health woes that I am a bit hard on myself and my constitution. Often I have imagined what my statistics would be if I were portrayed in a table top or video role playing game, and I have generally rated my constitution fairly low, beneath my extremely high intelligence score, my reasonably high charisma and wisdom, and a passable score in strength (seeing as I can carry without complaint a heavy burden of small children or thick books) on my back and shoulders and in my arms. Yet surely my constitution is not to be blamed if it is under such continually high strain. The fact that I can function at all with little sleep for years on end, under the state of continual high anxiety, without the persistent drive to self-medicate is sign of a body that is clearly resilient. Obviously, this endurance comes at a cost, but the fact that it comes at all ought to be praised and appreciated, seeing as I demand far too much of myself as it is.

Yet when I look around, I see everything in my world under the same amount of strain. Institutions flex under the fact that so much is asked of so few that it has been necessary to cast a wide net for assistance so that the load can be carried by someone. Companies struggle on understaffed in critical areas, and the people who are there are asked to do more than any one person should, at cost to peace of mind as well as to the accuracy of the work that is done. This sort of strain in human infrastructure can be hard to bear for those of us who are perfectionists and want to do everything right, but who understand that something must first be done. Nor is the strain limited to human infrastructure, for one sees the strain in transportation networks, communication networks, transoceanic logistics routes, water and sewage and power networks, and so on, even the financial markets. We are all under the strain, seemingly all the time, without rest. Even the Sabbath, for those of us who keep it, does not always bring with it freedom from continual strain, but rather for some a continual reminder of it.

Much depends on the purpose of the strain, for surely all of this continual pressure heaped on the same few but critical areas of life cannot be coincidental. Are we and the works of our hands and the achievements of our civilization meant to buckle under the continual pressure until we collapse into anarchy and destruction? Are we meant to be purified and refined, to be reminded of our sins and faults to mend our ways, or to do something that will end the continual strain that we face? Are we meant to endure and persist, despite every inducement to quit, until some way of rescue is shown to us that is beyond our capacity to imagine, beyond our ability to achieve unaided, and something that we can look to with a grateful heart full of praise? Perhaps many such purposes may be meant on different levels and in different aspects of the same life. At any rate, may none of our experiences be wasted, and may they all have some good end for ourselves and those around us. Life is far too short for it to be spent in vanity and futility.