The short answer is yes. Rather than leave it that, and have my shortest blog entry ever, I figure some explaining is in order. This afternoon at services, one of our congregation’s deacons gave a rather pointed sermon discussing the subject of self-deception. His initial illustration is one many of us could relate to, and painfully so. Two cavemen were in a dark cave. One of them, named Zog, had made a trap with a box, a stick, and bait. He and a friend of his served as the bait for a saber-toothed tiger, and had gotten into the dark box, enthusiastic that the tiger was coming for the trap. What is funny in a Far Side cartoon is not funny in life. Of course, thinking of how we bait our own traps is not a pleasant area of thought, not only because of the fact that we are our own worst enemies [1], but because our errors greatly affect other people.

There were really two areas of self-deception explored by the speaker that hit home especially strongly for me. The first involved the issue of unrestrained communication [2]. As someone who writes probably too much and too often, I have often unintentionally hurt and embarrassed people I care about, and most of those people have tended to deal with their hurts quietly rather than talking about them personally, probably for fear of being written about even more and embarrassed still further because of an accusation of being thin-skinned would seem to follow. Communication is a tricky matter, made all the more tricky when privacy does not appear to be respected, and where people fear being known more than they wish. How to convey respect, even in restraint, is not a straightforward matter, especially since privacy is something that is hard to show respect for obviously when one writes as openly and personally as I do. I’m really at a loss on how to improve communication, or ensure that others recognize the concern I have for their wishes in such matters.

Even more so, though, the aspect of being bad company, or dealing with bad company, was a subject that vexed me even more. Are there cases when my bad company corrupts such good habits as I have? What would be considered bad company? I’m certainly far from perfect, but at the same time I’m a pretty restrained person in general myself. I often worry over whether I make life more difficult for those I consider friends, especially my younger friends. I wonder if I bring too much stress into their lives, or more drama than they really deserve or need. I wonder if the people I coach in volleyball, or eat out with late at night at Shari’s or Wendy’s, or sing in choir with, or consider friends face a lot of stress in their lives simply because I am a friend. I would hope I wasn’t a bad influence on others. It’s one thing to bait your own trap, and suffer for it, but it’s far worse to take others down simply because they were close and because I cared about them, even if things ended up messy or complicated.

As someone who pretty regularly is betrayed by the longings of my heart, I tend to find my interactions with others to be a source of great anxiety. This happens to be the subject I am preparing a speech for for the next Spokesmen’s club meeting at my congregation. Does being concerned about self-deception, and cautious and wary about the longings and vulnerabilities of one’s heart make one less likely to be self-deceived, if not more successful in avoiding trouble? I wish I knew; it would be easier to try to navigate the pits I dig for myself, or the unwary traps where I serve as my own bait, or where I get pulled in because of the vulnerabilities of others, if I knew that simply being concerned about the well-being of others and desirous of helping it was enough to do at least some good for myself and those I care about.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/are-you-the-fish-or-the-bait/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/living-with-a-target-on-your-back/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/its-no-surprise-to-me-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-part-one/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/12/06/its-no-surprise-to-me-i-am-my-own-worst-enemy-part-two/

[2] This is an issue I have written about a few times:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/advice-to-a-new-blogger/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/12/15/never-befriend-a-blogger/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/bloggers-gonna-blog/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/a-bloggers-hymn-a-meditation-on-psalm-141/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2015/03/04/death-by-blogging/