Recently, a friend of mine asked a question about whether her friends would want someone to write a good song about them. I honestly do not think that anyone has ever written a song about me (much less a good song), but if they have they have not shared it with me. I don’t mind that in the least–I have written many songs, some of them about other people, that I have not shared because the time and the situation were not right. Unless one is writing a song about friendship and esteem and respect for someone else, it is generally best to avoid sharing those songs unless one is in a serious and committed relationship with someone else. Those of us who are somewhat romantic in nature may indeed have those longings relating to the subject of music and lyrics, but it is best not to indulge in such matters as it can make life very complicated and unpleasant.

I have previously discussed my own harrowing experiences as a teen poet [1], which largely scared me away from openly sharing my romantic poetry, although they did not cause me to stop writing romantic songs altogether. Seeing as I have no one for whom such odes would be appropriate, though, it is perhaps best to discuss the matter on a larger scale. Indeed, music history itself records many cases where songwriting proved to be an immensely stressful and unpleasant experience even in those cases where the songs themselves were well-beloved. Indeed, it would be worthwhile to examine some of the ways that songs have proven to be an apple of discord in terms of relationships between people. Examples of this are legion, so let us try to be selective about what happens when someone writes a song about someone else.

Musicians often write songs about each other when things are going poorly [2], and sometimes even have the temerity to release them as singles for the general public to hear on the radio. Some of these songs can be quite waspish and can often backfire on the person who is writing the songs. For example, John Lennon once wrote a nasty song about Paul McCartney called “How Do You Sleep [3]?” that was quite harsh in its language and seemed to cut against his reputation for being some kind of peaceful and wise person when it came to his own personal life, as he touted himself as an apostle for peace, love, and understanding, except when it came to former bandmates. On the other hand, the song “Apple Of My Eye,” written by the band Badfinger [4] about the end of their business relationship with Apple Records as it was collapsing in a heap of lawsuits and acrimony, is itself a touching and melancholy song, filled with regret about the friendship that once was, and that things had to go the way they did.

The songs I most enjoy hearing from singers about other people, though, are the songs that relate to friendship. Although sometimes the world of music is a bit small for my tastes at times [5], there is a sense of pleasure in knowing that most creative people are a lot like myself, in that they enjoy the company of other creative people and often enjoy working to and showing appreciation for those friends. I feel the same way myself, in that I tend to be drawn to people with similar gifts and interests and enjoy collaborations and group projects (even if there are often frustrations in such matters), as well as showing appreciation for such friends. This is true even when their area of creativity is not the same as my own. So, if the songs I have written for others are mostly kept under lock and key, and I have not known of anyone who has ever written a song about me, at least I can appreciate the better works of that genre and appreciate any occasion where people can work together to make beautiful music, even if it doesn’t involve me.

[1] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/05/12/a-matter-of-trust/

[2] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/cry-me-a-river/

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Do_You_Sleep%3F_%28John_Lennon_song%29

[4] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/why-arent-they-in-the-rock-roll-hall-of-fame-badfinger/

[5] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/07/02/yacht-rock-or-the-incestuousness-of-cultural-elites/