Yesterday, a coworker of mine was concerned that people were having eyes on his mangoes, and he made a point of offering it to us and telling us that our mouths were watering for his tasty mangoes. Whatever might have been said by other people, I wanted nothing to do with his mangoes, for one very simple reason–I am deathly allergic to them and they give me a suite of extremely unpleasant side effects [1] that include a heatbeat that races to 120 to 150 beats per minute with a migraine that makes me think I’m going to stroke out, limbs that go numb, feeling as if my skin is on fire, nausea and diarrhea simultaneously, all lasting about half an hour or so. No food is worth that much trouble, and after tormenting me a while with something I didn’t want because it is harmful to me, my coworkers who were having lunch at the same time I was generally agreed that I would not want something that had that kind of response, and figured that I was being reasonable in my denials that I wanted to take the mangoes for myself.

My response to mangoes is fairly typical for those things I have trouble with. I tend to be very anxious and wary about them, try to keep my distance, but as I do not wish for harm to anything or anyone it rather bothers me when people or things tend to torment me as they do. I tend to also enlist other people to look out on my behalf, since I figure I cannot catch everything on my own, especially given the alarm that they tend to bring me. I have fairly recurring nightmares, for example, about someone wishing to cause me harm through the use of mangoes, and at church I regularly ask what ingredients are in fruit juice to make sure that none of them contain mangoes. Fortunately, some people are used to my continual concern about this issue, and so they tend to look out for me and give me information when they know that a food around contains mangoes so that I stay safe. I do appreciate the notice, as it has helped me on several occasions [2]. I am grateful whenever I have friends who can help keep me out of trouble by looking out for me.

As far as life’s troubles go, mangoes are fairly easy to write about [3]. They don’t complain about you writing about them in your blog. They don’t ask third parties what you are writing about to make sure that they do not miss anything you write about them. They don’t endlessly overanalyze what you write about them, and send what you write to others so that they can share in the gossip and overanalysis at trying to parse every word for its possible hidden meanings. No, mangoes (thankfully) don’t read anything that I write about them, so as far as a subjects of my rumination are concerned, they are far safer and less stressful to write about than many of the other subjects that burden my mind, where I tend to use writing as a safety valve to preserve my own good spirits as best as possible and my own sanity [4].

I don’t seek out trouble, although it finds me readily enough. I tend to be honest and straightforward in expressing those things and situations that cause me anxiety and concern, and do the best I can to make sure that I can draw on the support and encouragement of others so I don’t have to bear my burdens alone and unknown. I don’t wish harm on anyone and it bothers me when others wish me harm or act in ways that are hurtful and unpleasant. If I had my way, I would be friends with anything that wasn’t evil and hurtful, and even those things that I did not particularly care for I would appreciate for the good that they had to offer, and let those who enjoyed such things do so without censure or condemnation. It distresses me immensely when things or people wish my harm, and act in ways that are hostile and unfriendly to me. I don’t know if that will ever stop bothering me, as apparently I have not seen enough evil in my life to believe that such cruel and unkind treatment is just and reasonable and deserved. So, needless to say, my mouth has not watered at the sight of mangoes, and until they no longer seek my harm, I want to appreciate them from as far away as possible, so that they will do no harm to me. If only it was so easy to avoid everything that causes such distress and alarm.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/grandmas-thai-recipes/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/02/17/the-valley-of-the-shadow-of-books/

[2] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/08/03/a-sheltered-cove/

[3] See, for example:

http://nathanalbright.blogspot.com/2006/03/mango-diplomacy.html

[4] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/02/27/safety-valve/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/07/07/spilling-out-ink-like-blood/