Keeping Up With Appearances

One of my favorite British comedies is the show “Keeping Up With Appearances,” for reasons that any students of my own life and personal experiences will be able to greatly appreciate. The lead character is a bit of an insecure snob, whose efforts at keeping a respectable appearance are undone both by her own follies (including insatiable curiosity to the point of nosiness) as well as by the hijinks of her very unrefined family. I suppose part of the reason I could appreciate it so well is because of the way I could compare the series with my own personal background, along with a slightly different approach that I have as opposed to the show’s protagonist. While the woman in the show chose a life of pretense, I have tried, however successfully, to live life openly and honestly.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 is commonly mistranslated to read “avoid all appearance of evil,” when it ought to mean very plainly “Abstain from every form of evil.” It is a terrible burden to feel it necessary to avoid the appearance of evil. After all, it is a very difficult thing to avoid the appearance of evil [1]. After all, to the pure all things are pure, but to those whose minds are corrupt, everything is corrupt. It is my misfortune that my instincts tend to lead me into trouble, whether it is in picking shopping carts [2] or in picking friends, largely because I have an unerring tendency to without any sort of conscious will choose the most vulnerable and broken things and people to be around, something which causes a great deal of complication sometimes.

Given my rather grim sense of humor, I often joke that I will automatically befriend the most inappropriate people simply by being friendly and welcoming to just about everyone. This has always been the case; as a child I made friends with the children of migrant farmers who were looked down on by others, making me more of an outcast than I already was. I also had a tendency from very early on to befriend fragile and somewhat delicate young women who shared interests in music and books. As I have noted previously [3], in my life I am faced with a rather intractable dilemma. No matter what I do when it comes to the company I keep, it will have the appearance of evil. In light of the impossibility of avoiding the appearance of evil, I have sought to be openly and warmly friendly with anyone who will return the favor but to the greatest degree possible avoid any kind of privacy without good faith witnesses, not only for my reputation which I sometimes worry may be beyond saving, but even more so for the reputation of others, lest they suffer likewise.

Sometimes we must simply live the best life that we can [4] and as openly and honestly as we can, in the knowledge that some people will view us as evil, and some people will use our open admission of struggles as evidence for darker motives. We must avoid all forms of evil, holding fast to what is good, thinking the best of others even when they do not return the favor. We must do all of this in open knowledge that others will think evil and speak evil of us no matter what we do, simply because they cannot believe the truth that is right in front of their eyes. It would be a lot easier to keep up with appearances if we were not so given to folly and others were not so given over to thinking evil of us. But we cannot live the life that we would wish, only deal with what is.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/the-modesto-manifesto-and-me/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/02/18/there-is-always-something-left-to-lose/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/02/08/damage-from-a-distance/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/12/22/showing-oneself-friendly/

[2] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/03/12/broken-things/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/12/23/pray-it-doesnt-break/

[3] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/01/01/between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-the-intractable-dilemma-of-a-single-young-man/

[4] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/02/22/apologia-pro-vita-sua/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/06/21/truth-is-an-absolute-defense-against-libel/