When I was enjoying a lengthy conversation with a brother in Christ [1], one of the more intriguing parts of the conversation, and one that I have pondered and thought about since the chat, involved a challenge of having a day without judgment. I must admit that this would be a difficult challenge for me. While I do not consider myself a particularly judgmental person when it comes to people (I would think myself rather understanding, on the other hand), I must freely admit to having an intensely critical mind that evaluates, compares, and analyzes everything that it encounters (and that is a lot). It is difficult to imagine what it would take to have a day without judgment, to let go of all of those natural critical tendencies of mine and to simply appreciate life without feeling the need to evaluate it or critique it.

Though such a challenge would be difficult, it must be remembered that I am someone who tends to have a taste for difficult challenges. As an elementary schooler I was once challenged for a small but worthwhile reward to remain silent without saying any words for an entire 30 minute lunch period by some classmates of mine who did not think I was up to the challenge. Of course, even though it was a very difficult challenge for me, my stubbornness and persistence and refusal to accept defeat made it a successful challenge, so that I knew that I could remain silent for half an hour with other people talking to me if I really set my mind to it, even though it was against my own natural inclinations and was in fact a very difficult thing for me to do. Such private victories may seem small, but they can occasionally have consequences on our behavior and at least some aspect of our confidence as people.

The challenge of not judging for an entire day would rank at least on the same degree of difficulty as the challenge of being silent when faced with constant provocation to speak out. I suppose it would best be done in a series of steps. First, one must become aware of when and how often one makes judgments and criticisms and critiques. I suppose being more aware of this would be useful in helping to curb such tendencies at least temporarily. There are times (many times) when it is appropriate to judge, but there are also times when one should without criticism, at least as a rest from one’s normal behavior and conduct in order to behave in a charitable and loving fashion to others without pondering deeply on their merit for such kindness, or their merit for whatever unkind thoughts or behavior one might have in mind.

One step in such matters is cultivating a sense of gratitude towards others. A few days ago, for example, I had the chance to ponder a bit in gratitude to a friend of mine for being forthright and honest with me while also engaging in the very difficult (for me) aspect of setting appropriate boundaries. I was appreciative of her graciousness in communication as well as her honesty and directness, and not feeling any sort of hostility or judgment towards the comments, I sought to make it plain, without dwelling on the subject, that I was not offended by her concern or her expression of it to me. Hopefully, with time and practice, such honesty and candor can become a matter of course, as we learn how to express our own thoughts and feelings and concerns without feeling it necessary to judge those of others. We can all dream, I suppose, but it remains to find a suitable day to go without judgment, a worthy challenge for such a critical soul as I am.

[1] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/10/05/birds-of-a-feather/