There are some people I know who are very skilled at dealing with powerful people. No matter how corrupt the authority figure, no matter how insecure and irrational they may be, there are some people skilled with smooth words and mild ways that can ensure their own safety and well-being even in the most paranoid of atmospheres. As someone who does not possess that skill to any great degree, beyond the minimum amount of tact and charm and diplomatic finesse that I have acquired at significant pains and costs to myself given my own personal background and experiences, I am both suspicious and envious of those who possess those immensely useful gifts, given that my life has been dramatically marred by the absence of those gifts in my own life and personality, and given the rather blunt and compulsively honest sort of character that I have.

My limited and mostly painful experiences at being even remotely close to centers of power have convinced me that my abilities to achieve positions of authority in institutions require institutions to greatly value the particular sort of person I am. Namely, they have to understand my own rather intense and serious anxieties and be able to handle them, and they have to value the fact that I am both intensely conscientious as well as very honest. Most of the time that honesty comes out in ways that should be seen fairly openly as friendly as well as service-oriented. However, there are times where my honesty is definitely corrective or warning in nature, and someone in authority has to be able to recognize that my willingness to speak out about things that could be done better is not meant as a challenge or as a sign of disrespect, but rather springs from a desire to do things the best way possible. Not all authority figures are secure enough in themselves, or trusting of others, to be able to see the good in the entire extent of my open honesty, however moderated it is by respect as well as by love and fondness for others.

That said, I have learned to my sorrow that there are some people who I simply lack the finesse and charm to deal with successfully as a result of the clash between our mutual suspicions and concerns. There are some people for whom I have found out that the modest amount of natural charm and tact that I possess combined with the massive amounts of expressiveness and candor that I possess means that those people never develop a great deal of trust and warmth towards me because both of us are continually sending each other signals of a lack of trust. As someone who has a very difficult time trusting authorities because of my own personal history, I have found that many authorities have equal reasons not to trust me, no matter how worthy of trust I may be. Of course, as someone whose capacity for trust is rather attenuated with extreme caution, I suppose it would be hypocritical for me to complain of the capacities for trust of other people. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

If I enjoyed being close to those in power, and feeling the radiated and reflected power in my own dealings with others, I would no doubt greatly enjoy being a courtier. Unfortunately, I do not enjoy that reflected power. I would rather serve people directly than serve them through serving their often corrupt and irrational leaders, even if I am fully intellectually aware of the fact that one can do a great deal of good through being well-placed in positions of power. It takes a certain type of personality to be comfortable in such a role, and though I think I would do well in that role with a godly leader, there are too few of those in this world for me to find such a state enjoyable, no matter how honorable the work of someone like Joseph or Daniel or Mordecai or Nehemiah in their roles serving irrational and insecure oriental monarchs. I can respect their integrity from afar knowing full well that I don’t want to be a courtier myself.

For every person who manages to be a principled courtier, there are many more who take advantage of their proximity to power for their own corrupt purposes. There are many who consider their closeness to elites as a model of their own behavior in being imperious or rude and lording it over lesser mortals themselves in imitation of the authorities that they serve and emulate, showing a Gentile model of leadership that belies whatever claims they might have to being godly. Such people often claim a great knowledge of the principles of the face-saving tendencies of people in such Gentile societies, however their own conduct may prevent others from saving face even where they ought never to be humiliated in the first place without any practical application of the cultural understanding they claim to know intellectually. Not only will such courtiers often flatter those above them while abusing those they consider beneath them, in direct imitation of Satan’s hierarchical model, but such people will often view any sort of unpleasant honesty about the corrupt authorities whom they serve to be threats to their own well-being, thus making themselves the accomplices of the corrupt systems of this world rather than as models of godly behavior that serve as at least an implicit rebuke of such fallen and corrupt institutions.

Those who manage to be godly courtiers and who remain uncorrupted from the temptations either to whitewash the human authorities that they serve or to take advantage of the reflected glory of those authorities to seek their own selfish interests are worthy of our greatest respect and honor given the difficulties of their position. God knows where those who serve Him are, whether they be thought of as collaborators or quislings by others who are less tolerant and understanding. God also knows those who pretend to be pious and obedient while being corrupt themselves. If we were better at practicing God’s ways in all walks of life, no matter where they happened to take us, we would have better credibility to show how godly people behave in positions of responsibility and honor, so as to allow others to make an implicit comparison with others, even without speaking directly or openly about the motivations of our behavior unless we are asked. Our standard of behavior can make a far more eloquent presentation of God’s ways than our poor words ever could.