Every Monday for the last few weeks I have gotten the same exact meal at the same exact place. Like most human beings I am a creature of habit, but unlike most human beings (it seems) I subject my habits and patterns of behavior to extreme scrutiny and then share it somewhat openly to the world at large, if they care to look for it. I’m not really sure whether it is a good thing or a bad thing to analyze one’s habits too closely, especially if the purpose of those habits is to bring a certain amount of calm and relaxation to an anxious life. Is a habit still comforting if one things about it and analyzes it to death? That is a mystery I ponder often.

For example, the comfort food I have been eating every Monday night (and often at least once during the rest of the week as well) is chicken parmesian. It might seem a bit odd to many people how chicken parmesan in itself could be a comfort food, but for my purposes it serves as a perfect one. First, the ingredients in it are common elements of my comfort food in general–something breaded (usually breaded chicken breast and pasta), cheese (cheese is a bigtime comfort food, whether in motzerella cheese sticks or cheesecake or cheese on top of salads), and marinara sauce (which also goes nicely with pasta and cheese sticks as well). I’m not exactly sure why these are comfort foods, though it should be noted that as someone who tends to suffer a fair amount from lactose intolerance, that cheese is the main way that I eat dairy foods, and as I have a slight allergy to tomatoes (they tend to make my lips and throat swell a little), that tomato sauce, as long as it is prepared well, is generally a relatively safe way to enjoy tomatoes for me.

Why do people seek comfort foods at all? For me, I try to find in life a balance between that which is pleasant and comfortable and safe and that which is not. As someone whose life has contained a great deal that is unpleasant and unsafe and uncomfortable (which I normally label “awkward” as is my habit), finding those aspects that provide a sense of comfort can often be a challenge. Generally speaking, I feel safer and have greater enjoyment with lively and witty conversation than I do by myself, though if I’m by myself and I’m writing or reading something that is quite acceptable and even enjoyable. I’m a social eater, and that tends to lead to certain habits and proclivities as far as my eating is concerned, given that for me the context of a meal takes on a great deal of importance in terms of how that meal will be enjoyed. I’m not sure how many others feel the same way, but it is certainly an aspect I have noted in my own personality.

When I think about comfort foods in the larger context of my life, I see them as a way that I can provide myself with an aspect of life that can help raise my spirits for a little while and provide some encouragement and happiness, something which is of considerable personal importance. I also ponder the question of health and the overall balance of such foods. After all, a lot of comfort foods are not particularly healthy, and need to be kept at least in modest proportions in order to avoid creating other difficulties. While enjoying a few slices of cheesecake is not likely to be too harmful (assuming one does not end up with diabetes), eating chicken parmesan at every meal would probably be a bad thing, even if one does tend to add a garden salad to it, as I do. Questions of balance and proportion are always important, for if one needs some level of comfort, one needs some level of challenge and growth as well.