Occasionally I like to muse on the subject of judgment, sometimes rather seriously and sometimes not so seriously (like today). Most of us dislike it when other people judge us. Sometimes our replies are indignant and full of anger, sometimes whining, sometimes tu quoque arguments or some other form of defensiveness, but rarely do people reflect on how judgmental they are of others, even if we are all a bit prickly when it comes to being judged by others. We are far more sensitive to being judged than to judging, far more sensitive to our own feelings than those of others (probably because we know them better). All of that said, in our world we have a lot of opportunities to judge others and be judged, and the less that is said about that the better.

Today I went grocery shopping, as is sometimes my fashion (I do like to eat, after all). Before shopping I recycled some of the massive amount of cans and bottles that have been filling up the living room. I don’t know how many of you recycle cans and bottles, but it is a really odd sort of experience. When I was a kid and looked at bottles, I used to feel a little bit jealous when I saw all of those states that offered cash refunds for bottles and cans, since I grew up in a state that did not. I’m not jealous anymore, especially now that I know two things: the money is not cash in your pocket, but the return of cash you have already spent, and the fact that to recycle cans often involves wasting time, dealing with strict limitations, and braving an unsavory crowd.

It is easy to be judgmental when you are standing in line behind someone putting beer bottles one by one into a machine shaking from what appears to be some kind of disease. Remembering that you are both in line for the same thing–a receipt from a grocery store machine that limits someone to 144 bottles or $10.00 per person per day that must be cashed inside when one is purchasing groceries helps to cool down those feelings of judgment a little. Some of the judgment one feels is wondering why a machine cannot be invented to hurry the process of recycling along, as it is a rather time consuming process to put bottles one at a time in a machine that takes longer to process than it does to sing “99 Bottles of Beer On A Wall.” Trust me, I sang the song to myself while the people in front of me were putting their beer bottles in the machine, and the people around me probably thought that I was a crazy person myself.

Judgment at a grocery store does not stop there. When one is inside of a grocery store, it is an easy thing to look at the grocery carts or baskets of others, and to see what items they have inside. Of course, other people can do that to us as well, and one wonders what to think. Do we reflexively praise those who have a salad or some greens? Do we judge people who have lots of junk food? What do people think of us when we have a particular theme in mind for our purchases–a party, lunch food for the week, or crazy couponing? After all, when we are in a grocery store, the items we are planning on purchasing are there for everyone to see, but no context as to the reasons why we have the items we do are provided, and the context may tell a different tale.

This is even more true when we are in the checkout line and purchasing our items. Are we the kind of people that bring 12 items to the 10 items or less line? Do we mutter under our breath when people like that are in front of us? How do we act when people seem to behave slowly in front of us, especially if we are in a bit of a hurry? Are we patient and understanding or are we impatient and rude, in our thoughts if not our words and actions? (Some of us, myself included, tend to have our feelings be rather transparent and open, so we are a bit unable to hide what we feel.) Also, how judgmental are we about the people in line with us? I tend to find it amusing to look at what items are bought by myself or others, whether people have store cards or not, whether people use coupons or not, and other random things to keep my mind occupied in the tedious moments of waiting. Perhaps I think too much, though.

So, since I have shown that I take grocery shopping and recycling far too seriously, I would like to know what other people think about their grocery shopping experiences. After all, given that we all have the opportunity to be merciful or to be curious or judgmental about the shopping behavior of others, going to the market is one of the places where our choices and preferences are most obvious to the world around us, where our choices and behaviors are laid out for the whole world to see, if they wish to pass judgment. What would those choices and behaviors say about us, and what would people say about our own thoughts and judgments, if they were openly known?