For a variety of reasons, not least of which is the reason that I have to teach the subject a fair amount, I have pondered the reasons for the existence of the little green monster known as jealousy or envy. Though I have written about the subject before from the perspective of its cause of wars and conflicts with others [1], as well as concerning the jealousy of husbands [2], it is a subject that has not often come up in my own blogging, for whatever reason. This is not because of any absence of a struggle against jealousy or envy on my part, but largely because I did not feel it a necessary subject to talk about, or at least not dwell on.
There are some writers who dwell greatly on the subject of envy. For example, the school of so-called Theonomists whom I often delight in critiquing, due to their imbalanced view of biblical law, are extremely harsh against envy, seeing it as the source of appeal for socialism and egalitarian ‘class warfare.’ This may be true in part, though it is hard to condemn others for envy when one has made the claim that greed is good and that there is no proper government role for punishing evil lusts. All of these are different aspects of coveting, and to condemn one aspect of coveting without condemning the rest is an immensely hypocritical act. If it is wrong, after all, to covet a man’s bank account or job or house or car, it is certainly wrong to covet his wife or daughter. What makes coveting wrong is the lust and wrongful desire, not the object upon which that act is fixed.
One reason, perhaps, why I have refrained from talking about the problem of lust at length is because I consider myself ill-qualified to be an authority about it. God only knows, and just about everyone else as well, that I cannot point any fingers at anyone else for lusting or coveting without pointing fingers at myself. I’m certainly willing to admit fault, but this happens to be one of my worst and most common ones, and as I already suffer a fair amount of abuse and trouble for it, it’s not a subject I like to dwell on often, because it is already in in my mind far too often. Nonetheless, at times it is necessary and proper to examine such issues, at least to demonstrate my ideals, so that my practice may eventually reach them.
When we are dealing with the subject of lust or coveting or envy, we have to be very precise about what we mean, so that we can draw the line properly between godly longings and between sin. There is nothing wrong at all about longing for a good wife (or husband), a good job, a good life, or anything, and in doing what is possible to become a better person and to take opportunities to achieve one’s dreams, so long as they align with God’s will (and God is generally pretty good at letting us know about that). In fact, it is our longings that propel us into achievement and bettering ourselves and the world around us. Longing is not lusting, because longing is directed at a state of being.
What is a problem is that lust is not the desire for a good marriage, but improperly looking at or thinking about a particular person. Lust is not the desire for a good house or a good job or a good life, but about someone else’s life in particular that we want for ourselves. The fact that the lust is particularly directed at a specific person or object is what makes it a problem. After all, God has no problem giving the gift of happiness and success and love, but He acts according to His will and not ours. All too often we are mistaken that only one particular job or person or life is right for us.
Ultimately, lust comes down to an issue of trust. When we lust after things, or when we are envious of the good things that others have, we lack the faith and trust that God can provide for the needs of us as well, and that there is only a very small amount of things (or only one thing) that can make us happy. Truly, God is not limited by our own understanding, which is at best partial and often completely wrong. If we truly believe in the power and goodness of God (the first is easy for me to believe, the second a bit more of a struggle), then we believe that God will provide for our needs, having known what they are without our needing to ask.
In order to avoid coveting and lusting, we have to possess qualities that are very difficult and that require great effort, and ultimately the help of God. We can avoid lust if we do not have longings or desires, but that is not a realistic option for most of us, nor necessarily all that worthwhile. If we do have longings, we have to make sure our longings are for states and ways of being, and to allow God to provide the specifics according to His timing and His will. I must admit that patience is a difficult matter for me, but it is something I have to work on and struggle with, just like everyone else. Perhaps if we can all recognize that we struggle together we can be more content and less oversensitive about such matters.
At any rate, when we have to wrestle with the little green monster of jealousy and envy and coveting, it is worthwhile first to recognize that we all have to deal with this problem in different ways. Simply because our situation in life protects us (to some extent) from certain kinds of lusts does not mean that we have completely defeated the problem of covetousness in all of its many forms. We may simply lust after different things, and be the same kind of sinners as others. Therefore we ought to be sensitive to the fact that it is more profitable if we admit that we are fellow struggling sinners rather than feign a mastery of sin that we probably do not possess.
That said, by recognizing the threat to happiness that covetous represents, we would do well to fight against it in our own heart wherever it can be found. We can do little about the lusts of others, as unwelcome and unpleasant as they may be, but we can and ought to do a lot about our own, so that we may at least be able to find some contentment in the will of God, and do the best we can to prepare ourselves for whatever experiences and opportunities that God gives us, so that we may be free of the little green monster that blinds us to the possibilities of happiness and success that we so often simply cannot see.
[2] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/04/02/numbers-5-11-31-concerning-jealous-husbands/
Edge Induced Cohesion 