Recently I have become familiar with a couple of celebrity memoirs that deal with a delicate subject of considerable personal importance.  Both Ashley Judd [1] [2] and Kara Dioguardi [3] have published recent memoirs detailing very dark personal struggles that are lamentably very common.  One of the most infernal aspects of the curse of sexual abuse is the culture of shame that is attached to the survivor of such abuse because of the nature of the violence done to the innocent by the abusers, who often hold some position of authority or power within the family (in the case of both women, and my own personal background), or within businesses and institutions (as happened to Kara Dioguardi in the music industry) including churches (witness the many victims of pedophile priests and ministers).

It is lamentable that rape, child abuse, molestation, and other acts are considered “sex crimes.”  We do not divide murders into “gun crimes” or “knife crimes,” but we recognize murder as the deliberate and premeditated act of taking innocent life.  Just like a knife or a gun is a weapon in murder, so is the act of forced sexual contact the weapon in rape or molestation.  These crimes are not about sex, but are rather crimes about power.  It is regrettable that this fundamental truth is (perhaps deliberately) obscured by tying together rape and sexual abuse and molestation with statutory rape, which is a genuine “sex crime,” the crime being that what would have been consensual activity (because of its lack of coercion) is not considered consensual because of one of the parties having reached the ‘age of consent,’ thus placing the ‘victim’ under the guardianship of his or her parents.  By confusing the sexual activity with the true nature of the crime, much of the darkest truths about crimes such as rape, molestation, and sexual abuse is obscured in the details.

For one, both Ashley Judd and Kara Dioguardi stand not as mere victims, but as trailblazers in helping tens of millions of Americans (possibly as many as 100 million) overcome their own histories of shame.  From newspaper reports, it can be gathered that both Ashley Judd and Kara Dioguardi have what could be judged as fairly ‘typical’ stories (the same would be true for me, though).  They were sexually abused as children by trusted authority figures (family members).  In the case of Kara Dioguardi, she seems to have been repeatedly victimized in the music industry as powerful music figures took advantage of their power and influence to obtain some sexual gratification from the attractive rising musician herself.

What is remarkable is that both women (and somewhere around 2/3 of suspected victims of sexual abuse are women, though what is remarkable is that 1/3 of survivors of sexual abuse are male, given the rarity of men willing to admit it) have shown considerable strength in their struggle against the culture of shame that has attached itself to sexual abuse in all of its many and horrible forms.  For one, both women wrote about it openly and honestly–in doing so exposing the fact that the sin was likely a generational one in their family, a curse and legacy that they are seeking to break.  Kara Diogruadi, in seeking for a family, seems to be deliberately acting to try to break the cycle of abuse and show her hope in a better future.  Ashley Judd’s crusading work to help exploited women all over the world and help right some of the world’s more pressing social wrongs also appears, in part, to be a deliberate desire to make sure that no one had to suffer as she did, turning her own history into a passionate desire for beneficial change.

This is also a hallmark of survivors of sexual abuse.  It would appear, given such research as I have been able to uncover (and it’s not an easy subject to study by any means), that there are only a few positive ways to cope with something as horrible as child abuse (especially if that history is repeated in exploitative situations later on).  Chief among those, it would seem, is using the personal memory of being abused and exploited as the fuel to a passionate crusade against tyranny and domination in the world, wherever it may be found.  The good side, to the extent that good can be found in such horrors, is that the scarring of abuse also makes one brutally aware of the level of darkness and evil that is present in this world and the fiercest of commitments to eradicating it wherever it may be found.

I am not sure to what extent that either Ms. Judd or Ms. Dioguardi are particularly religious, but let us frame this problem and its solution in religious terms.  Sexual abuse, especially coming from a trusted authority figure (like a relative, a minister, or a teacher) is a violation of the natural order, shattering trust.  It is the most brutal way that the satanic desire for domination and control and power, which is at least latent in all hierarchial (i.e. non-consensual) forms of government and social structure, attacks innocent human beings (especially children unable to defend themselves, which is precisely why they are chosen by Satan and his servants for such abuse).  Rape and sexual abuse are ways by which Satan marks his targets among those who are unable to defend themselves from the horrible and shameful acts being committed against them by people who ought instead to protect, serve, love, and guide the helpless and innocent.

However, by marking and scarring his victims, Satan (like all dictators and tyrants) creates his own enemies whose damaged souls seek his destruction and the destruction of his cultures and systems of domination and control wherever they may be found.  By marking his enemies, Satan, if he does not destroy them, makes his enemies determined at any cost to destroy him, and thereby allows them to be infused with divine anger against Satan’s webs of deception and corrupt social systems.  By targeting the innocent, Satan creates his own archenemies who if not completely swallowed up by bitterness can become effective and tireless enemies of his rebellious host, in the knowledge that whatever progress can be made to eradicate evil means that someone else is freed from the horrendous cost of suffering and anguish.  Turning the loss into a crusade against evil provides a clear sense of purpose and a strong motivation to bear any cost and pay any price necessary to make the world a better and more just place.

Therefore, let us honor the brave and courageous stands for truth for both Ashley Judd and Kara Dioguardi.  I hope they enjoy happiness in their personal lives and success in their crusades against corrupt cultural authorities and systems of domination and control in the world around us.  For their longing for happiness (the happiness of successful marriages and loving families) is my own, and their struggle against injustice and evil is my own as well.  For we were all marked by the same foe, and therefore bear the same cross, with the same stake in the struggles both for happiness and for justice.  For overcoming the culture of shame, replacing the hollow lies with the truth, however bitter it may be, is a way to make sure that the suffering was not in vain, that those who suffer in silence are not alone, but have a voice and a worthy cause to make sure no one else has to suffer as they did.  If we know and accept the truth, the truth will set us free.  We shall overcome and be victorious yet.

[1] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/04/08/a-family-legacy/

[2] http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b235130_ashley_judd_i_feel_bad_my_mother.html?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-topstories&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories

[3] http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110419/people_nm/us_dioguardi_1