As is sometimes the case, I spent some time this evening helping a dear friend of mine work on writing an answer that was provided in her essay writing study relating to the subject of fatherhood that she had a hard time answering: “Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing children up. To what extent do you agree or disagree?” While she struggled to find an answer to this question, I informed her that I knew how I would tackle the question immediately, and I offered to help her out by sharing what my response would be. It should be noted that this particular essay takes 40 minutes to write and so there is not the time to write at the length that a longer examination of the subject would provide, and I will provide an answer within the time constraints, showing at least how I would approach a subject given such a small amount of time, relatively speaking, to tackle it, providing a personal exemplar to others who wish to tackle the same subject. Here goes:

There is no question that, at least in the contemporary West, fatherhood is not nearly emphasized enough as it ought to be, and the crisis of boys and girls growing up without proper guidance and nurturing by their father has serious and negative consequences for the children themselves as well as society at large. Given the negative externalities that result from ignoring the pivotal role of fathers in the well-being of children and the adults that they become, it would seem obvious and natural that we should better emphasize the role of fathers within the family and celebrate fatherhood with the same degree of fervor and sincerity that we celebrate motherhood. However, doing so would require considerable changes in our behavior and even in our legal system, in order to accomplish this praiseworthy aim.

One of the great problems that limits the effective role of fathers in families is the mistaken belief that only women should have a say in whether or not they are to have babies. Foolish and ignorant statements like, “my body, my choice” demonstrate the arrogant sense of ownership that contemporary women have over the children in their wombs, who after all are not their bodies, and contain an equal amount of genetic information from both father and mother. This attitude towards the ownership of children persists in the disadvantages that fathers face from the legal system when parents become estranged and men are valued only as a source of financial support, without their time and care for their children being valued or appreciated. Frequently mothers seek to turn their children against their fathers and the well-being of children can be immensely harmed by the lack of close relationship that often results between fathers and children in divided families, as well as the behavior of the revolving door of men that often enter their lives through the turbulent romantic behavior of their mothers.

The clear way to overcome these problems is through a greater emphasis on the importance of fatherhood in the well-being of children. A wide array of studies concerning the well-being of children has demonstrated over the course of the last few decades that children greatly benefit from having a good relationship with their father in the home, actively involved in their upbringing. These benefits are wide, including lower rates of crime, better outcomes in education and income as an adult, lower rates of mental illness, and better relationship outcomes in their own lives. Despite all of these positive outcomes, contemporary feminists are often unwilling to admit the need for fathers and the role of fathers in helping to raise up successful and happy children. Many women blame their misery and unhappiness on the mistakes of men rather than their own failures in getting along with others, and pass along this cycle of blame onto their children, harming the lives of their children in the process instead of acting in ways that lead to better lives and more happiness for everyone involved.

In short, given the widespread problems that result from the lack of respect and honor that is shown to the father within the household, much of which results form the evils of contemporary feminism in theory and practice, it seems obvious that a greater emphasis of fatherhood would be an appropriate solution to these social problems. In order to achieve such a goal, which would encourage men to take a greater role in raising and encouraging their children in the home, attitudes towards men and towards the worth of men’s involvement and opinions needs to improve considerably. Unless attitudes change that greater honor and respect men as fathers, we cannot expect that men who are ignored except as a human ATM are going to engage more fully as fathers, nor should they.