What To Expect When You’re Expecting, by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel

One of the hazards of choosing certain book reading challenges to do is that one ends up reading the sort of books that lead people to ask questions about things that are not remotely the case.  So let’s discuss the audience for this book–this is a rather awkward and embarrassing book for a single male who is not an expectant father to read–but at the same time even if this book is obviously and clearly aimed at expectant mothers, the book is at least worthwhile to read for men too, and not only if they have pregnant wives or girlfriends.  I’m not saying that many men are going to read a book like this, but at the same time those who do are going to find a great deal to feel compassionate about when it comes to the difficulties that women face when giving birth, and understanding is a good way to be more compassionate to others and to have a better appreciation for the complexities of life.  This book is one of the most influential books when it comes to setting the expectations that mothers have of pregnancy and childbirth, and on those grounds alone it is worth reading.

This book is a sizable one at nearly 600 pages, divided into 23 chapters in 7 parts.  After some introductory material, the authors begin with a discussion about first things (I), including chapters on preconception preparation for mothers and fathers (1), determining whether one is pregnant (2), knowing one’s pregnancy profile (3), including gynecological, obstetrical, and medical history, as well as determining one’s pregnancy lifestyle (4), and focusing on nine months of eating well (5) for the health and well-being of the unborn child.  After that the author looks at the time period between conception and delivery (II), with a chapter for each month (6-14) that discuss the size of a child as well as what a mother can expect in the way that bearing a child will affect her own life and health and also address concerns that a mother might have, as well as a closing chapter on labor and delivery (15).  The next part of the book examines multiple births (III), including expecting twins, triplets, etc (16).   The next part of the book discusses what happens after the baby is born (IV), including the first week (17), and then the next five weeks after that (18).  There is a chapter on what fathers should expect (V, 19), and then the authors move on to discussing the health of the mother (VI), including chapters on dealing with illnesses (20) and chronic conditions (21).  The book then concludes with a section on complicated pregnancies (VII), including how to manage pregnancy complications (22), and coping with a pregnancy loss due to miscarriage or the loss of a twin (23), as well as an index.

In reading this book it was remarkable to see just how poor of habits the authors expect of many mothers when it comes to alcohol and drug use.  It is quite telling as well that the authors choose not to discuss the issue of abortion at all, and also the fact that they feel it necessary to defend the assumption that the child will be born between a husband and a wife, since that may not necessarily be the case.  Overall, this book shows over and over again a marked tendency to feel it necessary to calm readers that while they cannot do anything about what was done before knowing one was pregnant, that the risks of having unknowingly done harm are limited and that one should simply change one’s behavior after having recognized that one was pregnant.  In gently discussing various aspects that are often quarreled about in the mommy wars, the authors appear to be focusing on the need to calm down rather than to stir up the passions and temper of mothers-to-be and even (perhaps unusually) expect that fathers-to-be will find much of this material of interest.