Dear Mister Essay Writer Guy: Advice And Confessions On Writing, Love, and Cannibals, by Dinty W. Moore

[Note: This book was provided by Blogging For Books/10 Speed Press in exchange for an honest review.]

If you are expecting this book to be a serious guide to writing essays, you would likely be disappointed, for although the book does contain at least a little bit of advice on such matter as the overuse of the em-dash—a punctuation mark I am fond of using from time to time—most of the book is written in a manner that can at best be considered light-hearted, taken to the point of offensiveness at times. In order to describe this book, it contains mock essays written in a style like that of Norman Mailer [1], even down to the details of writing an essay on illustrated cocktail napkins. The letters addressed, for reasons I cannot fathom, to the author (clearly a more established writer using a pseudonym taken from the name of the tasty but probably not very healthy beef stew found in one’s local grocery store, which is a good metaphor for this book as well) are answered in two fashions, first with a short and often sarcastic note, and then with a more extended writing that at times resembles my own. The author’s mock Facebook feed, with its check-ins from airports and its deep and reflective quotes from books, is either a copy or a parody of my own Facebook feed, for example, in a way that is almost as creepy as the author’s story of running into George Plimption over and over again without having ever intentionally stalked him, a story that is humorously illustrated with images from Google maps.

In terms of its contents, this is a book that is more or less an eclectic work, much of it self-aware in terms of being a pastiche of more illustrious or famous essay writers, a bit of it gently mocking the tendency for obscure people to write memoirs oversharing their often painful personal experiences, and quite a lot of it relating to issues of sex, private parts, scatological humor, and the abuse of drugs and alcohol. This is not a book written for everyone’s tastes. Naturally, among the essays of Montaigne that the book updates for contemporary sensibilities, it would make sense that the pseudonymous author chose the essay on cannibals, since it allows the author to broach topics of unnatural appetites. This comment would apply as well to the essay about zebras, which includes a reference to eating zebra burgers in Scotland. Perhaps the funniest essay is one of the shortest, though, coming at the end, when someone asks “Mister Essay Writer Guy” if they have read anything that the author had written, to which the author replies, “You have now,” showing a miniature picture of the book itself, in a moment that breaks the fourth wall in a tribute of self-referential humor that is well-played.

So, what kind of audience is this book aimed at? For one, the audience would likely to be made of writers, or at least people who are interested in writing, because the comments the book makes about the importance of the medium to the message, the many references the book makes to contemporary and historical writing practices and notable writings and workshops for writing and the way that authors can try the patience of publishers are matters that are chiefly of interest to writers. Additionally, one can assume from the way that the book mocks the timidity of sexually inexperienced young people, comments on the difficulty of relating to preteen and teen girls, and seems to wax nostalgically about the trouble that people often get into in college and also its seemingly casual alcoholic vibe, the author is likely to be aiming this book at a middle aged writer, likely male, with a prurient interest in sexuality and frustration about relating to teen daughters, especially as a noncustodial parent. There are likely to be a lot of people in this book’s target demographic, to be sure, and the book at least offers humor to those who are not too demanding about its contents as a whole.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2015/08/11/book-review-of-a-fire-on-the-moon/