There are some matters which test other people greatly that are not a particular lure to me, and there are other matters which other people would not view as particularly difficult temptations present me with extreme difficulty. Many of these matters, as might be expected, find their way either directly or indirectly on my blog entry. I both note those matters where I do not have any particular draw but where I see plenty of others suffer, such as smoking, as well as those situations that I recognize as extremely dangerous but am drawn towards anyway. One of the more curious tests of willpower that I have to taste is the temptation for books.

I understand that for many people books do not represent any temptation at all. There are some people who simply have no desire for books, either for themselves or for others, and so they can walk through a bookstore like Powell’s without having any sort of lust whatsoever. Obviously, such people would not understand the sort of pull that books represent for a bibliophile such as myself. A couple of stories will suffice to explain the temptation. At the Feast of Tabernacles in 2003 in Escondido, I went with a friend to a bookstore (I believe it was a Barnes and Nobles) and without leaving the discount table, I spent about $90 in ten minutes. A few years later, while looking for resources on the Vietnam War for an essay for one of my military history source, I managed to spend about $120 in fifteen minutes from books from a couple of shelves. I have spent money online and even regularly spent more than fifty dollars on discount books at a single time. If I allow myself, I can spend a great deal of money on books, sometimes books I have already read, and some that I would only read one time. I know that not everyone shares that particular problem, but it’s certainly a weakness of mine that I have to guard myself against.

Today I managed to go to Powell’s with a coworker of mine who was buying some books for her husband and children (one of whom is a high schooler and the other a tween). One of our purposes was to avoid any sort of complications due to the snow that fell this afternoon in the part of town where we worked. It was also an interesting chance to test my own willpower, though. Although there were definitely some books that tempted me, as well as some games (like a 50th anniversary box set of Diplomacy) that I found to be very tempting as well, in the end, I decided to be good and to refrain from any sort of purchasing. My willpower was strong enough to preserve my good name and my checking account, and give me the opportunity to think that I might be able to go to a bookstore from time to time without being drawn inevitably to ruin.

Needless to say, books are not the only lure that has threatened to prove to be quite expensive and complicated in my life, not by a longshot. Nevertheless, the same sort of mechanisms that can be used to cope with a vulnerability towards books can be useful in helping to guard against the dangers of other vulnerabilities in different areas. A certain recognition of the danger, and an avoidance of dangerous situations, while inoculating oneself through seeking safe opportunities to be around books, therefore making the danger less extreme, can be of help, as does having people around to hold oneself accountable, and avoiding dangerous situations alone. Likewise, replacing fear with a healthy courage that is founded in success can help what is scary become less frightening with experience, as one’s willpower proves equal to the challenges we face in life, knowing that we can encourage others in their own struggles even as we find encouragement for our own, even if that struggle is as modest as avoiding spending too much money on books.