Tonight I arrived home around midnight. This is not necessarily unheard of on the weekend, for even though I am not someone who particularly enjoys partying or carousing, I do love to spend time with others and to go out a great deal. For a variety of reasons I have been spending the time as the Sabbath ends and shortly afterwards with the same group of people. Over and over again I have spent time with a certain group of people–this is true in general, as I tend to spend time around those people I spend time with, as is true for many. It is generally easy to spend time with those one is already spending time with, in most circumstances. For almost every week for more than a month, I have spent a substantial amount of time eating, talking, singing, watching movies, and playing volleyball and other games around a few people.

I say this not because people are necessarily that interested in my activities, but rather because I have seen that time as having rather notable results for me personally. It is not an easy thing to be able to spend hour after hour after people enjoyable and pleasantly and think poorly of people. If people are in our homes, eating with us, playing games with us, talking with us, and generally spending a lot of time with us, and they are friendly and enjoyable company, we will think well of them. We will talk about lives, our interests, our hopes and dreams, our experiences, and we will find those areas in common that can help build friendships. The time that needs to be spent is not endless pleasantries, but rather a sufficient number of fairly deep and substantial interactions that helps us to show ourselves, as well as to see how others really are.

I consider myself fortunate to have the time to spend around others in a variety of contexts, and to have the ability to choose my time around those people who are generally friendly and likeable, as well as people who encourage me to be the best that I can in any circumstance. I am certainly not a perfect person, but a great deal of the reason that life is an enjoyable as it often is for me is because of the company of others. I have noticed, in the sort of things that I am grateful for over the course of this month so far, that over and over again it is positive interactions with other people, regardless of what activities are specifically involved. Noticing that particular pattern of behavior, I have been pleased at the ability to spend so much fun time with a variety of people, even if it means that sleep can be a bit of a challenge for me to find at times.

If you are looking to get to know people, with whom you have no personal context or history to draw on, there is no substitute for time in getting to know them better. This time, it must be emphasized, is not a lot of superficial and casual contacts, but enough time spend to get to know someone well enough to develop some degree of comfort and trust. If our goal is to really get to know people, we need the interaction that comes from one-on-one and small group interactions as opposed to the more casual interactions that occur in larger groups. Therefore, if we wish to know others and to be known ourselves, we must seek out the right kind of opportunities and to appreciate them when they can be found.