For whatever reason, as I was driving home today from barbership practice in the dark, listening to my second favorite song from Fall Out Boy, I pondered a question that is often on my mind and one I wrestle with often as a writer. Every creative person, especially one who is outspoken and blunt, has to wrestle with the question of what sort of creations one will make. We create based on what is inside of us, but once we share those creations with the outside world, they take on a life and a meaning all of their own that we no longer entirely control. Likewise, people will either kindly or unkindly impute all kinds of motives on what we create without asking our opinion or checking their interpretations against the fact, which can be immensely damaging at times.

As an intensely creative person, I have found myself frequently caught in the tension of expressing the world (or my life) as it really is and has been, and in expressing my hopes and longings and visions of a better future than I have yet known. It is a very difficult challenge to do both at the same time, and also difficult to balance out one’s writing and general creative works to show both sides of the tension. In order to present ourselves in a way that is sincere and honest and that is neither dishonestly positive or negative, we have a heavy responsibility. Of course, not everyone needs to know all of the details of our lives, but all the same if we are seeking to build close relationships with others, we need to be candid enough that they have at least some idea of what they are getting into. I would feel like a fraud if I sought to present myself without my shortcomings and struggles and attempt to deceive someone into a close relationship with me, and I would also feel it to be a fraud if I sought to connect with someone in such a way that I disguised my moral standards or longings and aspirations.

This world is full of evil. There are a lot of dark deeds committed in dark places, and to shine a light on the darkness and expose the works of evil is one of the tasks of a godly person. This is not a pleasant task, but it is a necessary task. However, in our zeal to expose the evil of others, especially evil in high places, we cannot ignore the fact that all of us struggle with evil inside of ourselves. We may be more successful at struggling against evil than some others are, and we may be stronger in some aspects of our life than others, but none of us are perfect, and none of us is qualified to condemn others without also condemning ourselves. We can condemn evil, but if we are fair-minded we will see easily enough that the evil we condemn in others and in the world around us is also present in some fashion within ourselves. Our fight against evil, if we are just and reflective, will lead us to encourage those who struggle against evil even as we struggle against it ourselves. So long as someone is an honest struggler against sin, and not someone who wallows in it, I will give such encouragement as I can as a kindred spirit. As someone who tries very hard to be good, I do not think anyone who tries as hard as I do ought to be without some encouragement, a patient listening ear, and the knowledge that they do not struggle alone.

Likewise, this world is full of much beauty as well, both in the creations of God and of mankind. There is beauty in the resiliance of people against incredible darkness and evil (for which thanks must be given to God for giving us strength that we do not possess). There is beauty in the way in which the darkness helps reveal the light even more by contrast, and by the resourcefulness of human beings who turn weaknesses into strengths, turn troubles and sorrows into inspiration, and who turn the suffering of this life into great art. We cannot wallow in the mud without reflecting on the fact that the beauty and wonder of this world still shows some vestigial remains of the image and likeness in which we were all created. For me, I find the fact that I can appreciate and cherish innocence in creation and in humanity as a sign of great mercy beyond any expectations I might have. Every time I see a flower blossom in the desert, I ponder on how the fragility of life and the danger of its circumstances does not in any way remove its beauty or its charm, but rather makes it even more precious for having to overcome such obstacles. For that same longing for an abundant and beautiful life rests inside of me, and no doubt inside of many others who share my experiences and worldview.

We cannot choose whether our lives will be filled with a certain proportion of good and evil, though we can choose to use our suffering as fuel in our zeal against the darkness that has overtaken this fallen world and we can use our devotion to truth and light to inspire us and give us hope among the sadness that we face as human beings. Our shortcomings and weaknesses and struggles help us gain and understanding of that of other people, and make us more humane and more encouraging and more gracious to others who are of the same nature as ourselves. Likewise, our longings and dreams can be greatly helped from the encouragement and support we receive from kindred souls, those who share our dreams and vision. We all have to struggle with the tension between the way things are and the way things ought to be, between our honesty and sincerity in dealing with ourselves and our lives as is and our longings and dreams of a better tomorrow. May we retain our vision even as we have a clear-eyed view of ourselves and our surroundings. For we need not sacrifice either our integrity nor our hope in order to live honest and immensely worthwhile lives, even in such a world as this.