Given the fact that I blog somewhat regularly, despite my busy schedule and the fact that I am trying to make some headway on the fairly large collection of books that I have to read (which includes at least three paper books at present and a couple of e-books that I have perhaps foolishly agreed to read), it may come as some surprise that a few of the blog entries I write are not published right when they are finished, for a variety of reasons. Three of the books that I have on my reading queue right now cannot have their book reviews published yet because they are on “blog tours” that require a blog being published within a window that is usually a couple of weeks long. This means that such reviews will sit in my drafts folder until it is time for them to be released to the world, if the world is ready for them.

I’m not sure whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, but my collection of books to read right now has some fairly alarming trends, which I will try to untangle without completely giving the game away. Today I just got an e-book which I started reading that dealt with a female character who has a mutual crush on her much older professor. There are some aspects of her story that I can definitely relate to, though I will definitely have some critical aspects to review about the book. Another book I am reading and will review later has to deal with male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Again, there is much I wish to say about that, and much I can relate to, but I will refrain from speaking at length about it at this time. There is another book on my reading list that deals with foreign prisons, a subject that I could have known much better had God been less merciful to me, and another book I have just started reading that deals with unexpected examples of divine providence in difficult situations. Yet another book examines the relationship between faith and science, and that book actually has the earliest deadline, so I should probably get to that one as soon as I finish one of the other books I am reading, as it is the most urgent.

It is often a difficult matter to determine cause and effect in one’s life or the world around us. So many factors are interrelated, that it can be a great challenge to put matters in the proper context and to see what strands of a given story are pivotal and which are merely red herrings designed to distract attention from the truly significant matters. As human beings we tend to focus on dramatic people and events, and to pay less attention to the importance of more quiet and subtle effects like demographics and logistics, which often prove decisive unless they are squandered by folly and idiocy on the part of those in charge. All other things being equal, nations that have more robust economies, greater levels of social cohesion, and a larger population base will generally be more successful in their endeavors. Likewise, states that are economically vulnerable and politically divided will often waste whatever advantages they possess in technology and supposed military power unless they are fighting particularly weak enemies for a short period of time.

In my life I notice there is often a great disconnect between matters great and small. I do my best to be well-read when it comes to larger matters of our internal cultural wars as well as the threats of even more foreign conflicts that draw attention, besides long-term matters of demographic decline in the Western world and economic malaise. These rather grim matters on the larger scale seem somewhat disconnected from the personal matters that take up so much of my time and attention, be they matters of the heart or wrestling with one’s personal history or striving to achieve better freedom of movement while also seeking stability at the same time. It is rather difficult to feel under such contrary pulls–seeking to make optimistic plans involving myself and others in a personal life while facing a larger world that appears to be bent on self-destruction. Ultimately, events on a small scale, if they are repeated often enough, will tell a tale on the larger scale as the decisions of individual people accumulates into statistical data. Likewise, matters on a large scale can easily overwhelm the little plans and goals we have as ordinary human beings.

Somehow I ponder these matters, and perhaps it may be said of me as it was once said of someone of a similar temperament to myself that much learning drives one mad. And yet I am compelled to seek to understand myself, others, my world, and the interaction between all of those as best as I can with the time and resources that I have to me. I understand that my own life exhibits important patterns that are certainly not random and accidental, whatever slings or arrows of outrageous fortune that I deal with. The stories that I tell are ultimately not entirely alien because I am a person strongly influenced by what is around me in terms of time and place and experience. Some of those influences have been the cause of great pleasure and close connections with others who can relate to them. Other influences have been rather negative and caused me and others a great deal of grief. It is my hope that reflection and pondering and dwelling on connections and patterns may lead to deeper understanding, so that at least when I act I may be aware of the ironies of my existence rather than surprised by them and caught off guard.