[Note: Yes, I’m aware that the title of this blog entry is not grammatically correct.]
For a few reasons, most notably the fact that I am occasionally absent-minded and scatterbrained, I am not someone who enjoys keys and badges a great deal. For my training this week, I left my temporary badge in the hotel room, and was glad/mortified when the guard shack had to let me through with just my driver’s license to show who I was. I found it a bit ironic (and unusual) that the facility I visited today did not require any badges or identification, perhaps because the location was sufficiently remote that few people would be able to find it if they were not looking for it. It is strange that despite the general ineffectiveness of many security features that there is a feeling or illusion of security when there is security present, no matter how competent or incompetent they may be at their job. That could easily be the subject of today’s blog, but it is only a short story that I wanted to tell before getting into my main point.
Yesterday I engaged in a long and rather frustrating conversation with someone who was convinced in their own mind that the only people who could practice a particular communications technique were paid facilitators who were seeking to gain control of a given group through divide and conquer methods. The particular style of communication, whose name is not particularly important, was supposedly developed by the Rand Corporation as a way to provide the illusion of participatory government with the reality of subtle control, and the person I was talking with was simultaneously engaged in the form of communication that she condemned while also taking pride in her ability to disrupt the communications of others. Ultimately, as I have discussed numerous times on this blog [1], I find it difficult to believe in conspiracy theories because people are not good at either communicating, cooperating, or keeping secrets. These difficulties ultimately make it difficult for others to work together in ways, especially if they are engaged in low-trust behavior, and make it somewhat easy to recognize what they are up to.
It is important to understand (and even more important to apply) the knowledge that one does not need a badge or a position of authority to engage in corrupt communication. As human beings we all are pretty good at pitting people against each other, even without trying or intending to do so. Likewise, as human beings we are pretty easy to pit against each other, whether we are dealing with families or institutions. Differences of perspective and opinion are very easy to inflame into deeper conflict, especially when there is the absence of effective communication. Gaps in communication, lack of trust, and high levels of sensitivity are present in just about everyone’s life in some way, and these attributes make it easy for someone, whether they are a paid facilitator seeking to divide and conquer a group or just someone who likes to stir up trouble or engage in inappropriate levels of teasing and insults, to pit people against each other.
A larger question, though, is what can we do about it? We cannot do much about the communication of other people, except to let them know that it is unacceptable, and provide them knowledge that there will be personal sanctions (at least) for their failure to keep to proper levels and forms of communication. Ultimately, others are responsible for themselves, and they will act as they act, and if they are not open to guidance and instruction, there is little we can do except to let them know that their action will have consequences and to enforce those sanctions against poor communication and reward good communication. What we do have responsibility for is our own communication, and we must make sure we make ourselves and our expectations and concerns as clearly as possible. It is beyond worthless to criticize others for failures to communicate that we share, unless we are openly and forthrightly speaking about our own struggles and our desire to get better as well. In addition, we have to remember that any form of communication that can be used by professionals can also be used by ordinary people as well. We don’t need badges to disrupt communication, or to attempt to steer it or control it by manipulating the feelings of others, but we are responsible for communicating honestly and sincerely and openly, and in developing the right levels of respect for others, even if that means the occasional rebuke.
[1] See, for example: https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/why-i-am-not-a-conspiracy-theorist/
And also: https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/10/11/if-only-you-believed-like-i-believed/
Edge Induced Cohesion 