Recently I was pondering, as I sometimes do, the fact that so many of my favorite albums come at the tail end of popularity for a musician. For whatever reason I am deeply drawn by the autumnal beauty of an artist or band who is releasing mature work. Some people love the fresh and immature work of a band at the beginning of a career, others love that easily accessible moment when the first throes of maturity leads to just enough pop sensibility to dominate the charts, and others enjoy the thrill of being loyal to a band long after they are no longer popular. For me, while I do tend to be a long-term fan, my favorite moments are right when maturity and seriousness increase after popularity but before there are desperate moves to cash in on declining popularity or declining production standards after a band loses major label support. There is a delicate balance there.

One of the albums I particularly like, and would like to review in a similar fashion to the last time I did one of these album reflections [1], was an obscure and unjustly forgotten album by a band called Fastball, that was briefly popular during my teenage years. Let us therefore examine some of the lyrics of the songs of this album to show why I have been so fond of it, despite the fact that it was not an album that was popular at all with a mass audience, who perhaps found many of the songs to be a bit too dark and melancholy and reflective. Undoubtedly, that mood has made the album a popular one for me.

First, let us begin with the first song on the album, which sets the tone for the whole work, “This Is Not My Life:” This, this is not my life. / This, this is not my life. / This is not my face, / This is not my place, no it’s just isn’t right. / This, this is not my life. / You, do you remember me? / Remember, the way that it used to be [2].” Here the singer and songwriter reflects on the sense of alienation he has with his life. In the case of the song, it is a negative sense of loss that he author is reflecting on, though in my own life it need not be this way. We can be as unused to success as we are to failure, and we can feel as out of place when good things are happening as when bad things are happening, based on what we are comfortable with and accustomed to. Let us not forget that Fastball, when they wrote and recorded this album, had just achieved mainstream success and popularity off of a dark album about pain, and clearly they were a bit unnerved by what that meant. Who could blame them?

Nonetheless, Fastball was not all about doom and gloom (thankfully). The second song off of this album, and the first single (it was a minor hit) was a much more happy track, called “You’re An Ocean,” which features Beatlesesque harmonies and some rocking piano playing by Billy Preston. Given the mood of an album, it was fairly likely that someone at their record label told them they needed a happy and upbeat song to be a hit single given the mood of the rest of the record as a whole. Here are the lyrics to the first verse: “Can you make it easier for me to understand, / How you’re holding my heart, in your trembling hands… / Eyes that rise to meet me half way up among the stars; / You may be from Venus but I’m definitely not from Mars [3].” Here we see that the songwriter is singing about his love or infatuation with a young woman who is is clearly immensely alluring and attractive (and perhaps a little bit shy and nervous), while disclaiming any sort of warrior nature within himself, making gentle mockery of the supposed division of the sexes between Mars and Venus. The singer definitely plans on being a lover and not a fighter, and it is not a surprise that this song was the first single, given that it is the most upbeat and cheery song to be found on this album.

Continuing on, let us look at the second single of this album, “Love Is Expensive And Free,” which features some support from Brian Setzer. Here is the first verse and chorus: “You can talk to me about powder kegs, / And how I’m sitting on one right now. / You can warn me about candles
at both ends burning from the outside in, / But don’t tell me about true love, / ‘Cause I don’t think you really know. / You need to pay the cost, / You need to feel the loss, / ‘Cause love is expensive and free. / Love is expensive and free [4].” Again, this song is a bit of a melancholy reflection on love, as well as in the sense of risk that the band felt given their particular place and situation, not only risks to their own health as a result of the crazy course of their career, but also the fact that doing what one loves often requires a great deal of cost for us. While some may consider this to be pessimistic, I would instead think of this as a realistic appraisal of the way that life works, an encouragement to serious reflection and consideration of what people truly want the most, so that they may commit to it fully and accept the inevitable tradeoffs that it brings without murmur and complaint.

Fastball also sings about the problems of the Rock & Roll life (and the fate of insomniacs in general) in the song “Vampires,” before vampires were cool with the young folks: “She will bring a little box of moonlight, / To light my way on such a very dark night. / Dreams so real they grow wild on the vine, / Until sundown, when she comes, / She comes just like a daydream, / And the sun surrenders to the evening. / I’ve waited all day long to be with you girl. / We’ll burn like falling stars tonight, / And hide like vampires from the daylight, / Until sundown. / Dreams so real they grow wild on the vine. / We’ll burn like falling stars tonight, / And hide like vampires from the daylight. / Our world comes alive at night, / And like the stars, they shine so bright / As long as you are mine, / As long as you are mine, /As long as you are mine [5].” Here again we see an interest in night and darkness and the light of candles (a concern of this entire album, which makes its title particularly ironic), as well as an abiding interest in love. As the song features a touching and beautiful violin solo, the song is appealing and lushly romantic, even if it has a slightly melancholy tone to it. This particular song was thought highly enough of that it was made a single off of the band’s best of compilation.

Continuing on the themes of darkness, we have “Dark Street,” which is another classic song off of this album (even if it was never released as a single), which is still a catchy song even if it is a bit repetitive (here are the non-repetitive bits): “When will it stop raining? / When will these dark clouds go? / Some days I get so low, but you turn me around, you turn me around. / Won’t you come down to my dark street, and shine a light
/ ’cause I need your sweet sunshine/ Won’t you come down to my dark street, and shine a light, / ’cause I need your sweet sunshine. / You take away my sadness and the pain inside my heart. / Sometimes I fall apart, but you turn me around, you turn me around [6].” Here again Fastball sings about love and darkness and light (noticing a trend yet?). Here, the singer/songwriter wonders when life is going to turn around and get better, but credits his lover with bringing light and happiness and sweetness into his world. Since Fastball achieved a fair amount of success, one can gather that they probably had a melancholy and reflective personality to begin with, but their gratitude to loved ones is very touching. Gratitude is a pretty attractive quality, after all, even if one wishes they would have found more happiness during their brief period of popularity.

Let us close our brief tour of the calculus of Fastball’s album with the song that closes the ordinary version of “The Harsh Light of Day,” and that is a song called “Funny How It Fades Away.” Here is the first verse and chorus to this song, which can only be considered prophetic in light of the reception this album received and the course of Fastball’s subsequent career: “Those days when our hearts were as big as the sun, / Turn around with a smile for everyone. / That feeling’s a memory; / Funny how it fades away. / You won’t see those pale grays returning to blues. / The colors will wash out as I shrink in my shoes, / And I won’t always live and breathe; / Watch me as I fade away. / We wake in the morning and work all day. / We dress up in the evening with nothing to say, / Just like a candle burning bright, / Burning like forever then it fades away [7].” Here we see Fastball singing (again) about the problem of candles burning (just as they did in “Love Is Expensive And Free”) and reflecting on the emptiness of fame. It would appear as if the endless touring and promotion work left Fastball drained and feeling worn out and lacking in emotional integrity. Listening to this album, I would say that the band kept their integrity and honor in the course of being even briefly famous, but they clearly were not happy with image and preferred the sincere love of their loved ones to the mass appeal of the crowds, even as they felt constrained by their career ambitions to make music for a wide audience. Sadly, the album was not appreciated by a mass audience, and the concerns the band had about fading away became a self-fulfilling prophecy rather than an ironic and popular refutation of their fears.

This album is rich in ironies. Fastball was (and is) a band that has toiled on the edges, exploring the darkness and corruption of our world, whether that involved problems in relationships and families, drug abuse, or the feeling of having accomplished nothing of importance in life despite talents and ambitions. When the band achieved popularity as a result of songs like “The Way,” (which was so popular I once heard it in a sermon directed at a younger audience at a Winter Family Weekend in Lexington, Kentucky), “Fire Escape,” and “Out Of My Head,” all songs that reflect on death, love, insecurity about manhood and honor, and insanity, they found the “harsh light of day” a bit difficult for them to bear. And small wonder, as sensitive and genuine souls they were ill-equipped to be famous in our corrupt age. That is not their fault, but rather the fault of our times and the harsh way in which people are treated, as well as in the fact that fame and mass popularity are but an illusory goal for people to seek, as well as a hazardous gift even for those who find it when they do not seek it.

[1] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/behind-the-eyes/

[2] http://www.lyricsdepot.com/fastball/this-is-not-my-life.html

[3] http://www.lyricsdepot.com/fastball/youre-an-ocean.html

[4] http://www.lyricsdepot.com/fastball/love-is-expensive-and-free.html

[5] http://www.lyricsdepot.com/fastball/vampires.html

[6] http://www.lyricsdepot.com/fastball/dark-street.html

[7] http://www.lyricsdepot.com/fastball/funny-how-it-fades-away.html