More times than I can remember, I have been told that I am a somewhat awkward person, or heard about other people dealing with their own awkward situations and listened sympathetically to them as they spoke. Awkwardness is a part of my life that while I do not necessarily love it, I accept it as part of my world. Rather than simply describe the various ways that I am awkward in detail (which would be rather awkward and overly personal), I would like to touch only briefly on the subject and then discuss why we should all embrace what awkwardness we possess in our own lives, and how it can serve us for the good. What is the bright side of awkwardness?

In many ways, my awkwardness is overdetermined, as so much else is in life. Whether it is my particular sensitivities, my love of debate (but hatred of actual conflict), my left-handedness in a right-handed world, or my love of poking and prodding and pointing out inconsistencies and areas for reformation and improvement in institutions and societies, my life has always been awkward. But that is not necessarily a bad thing. For me, my awkwardness has usually come about when I am in situations that are important but where I am not comfortable, where I am struggling not only to do the right thing but also to communicate the right message, which has often been difficult. Awkward situations come about when we are outside of our comfort zone, but that is precisely why we must treasure them and embrace them rather than push us away, as being able to triumph over our awkwardness allows us to feel comfortable and confident in a wide variety of circumstances, rather than have a too-narrow comfort zone that cuts out important facets of life.

And this is a lesson that goes far outside of my own life. My life is awkward in large part because I do like to take risks beyond my comfort zone. Sometimes that means spectacular but educational failure, as I learn what I am comfortable with, and what lines I am simply not willing to cross. Sometimes it means being open to opportunity, and also being open to expanding one’s knowledge of life into new areas, even if one is not very experienced. After all, and this is something many companies seem to have forgotten these days, is that someone has to gain that necessary experience somehow, and it is better to look for those who have a zest for learning and growing rather than a set of ruts that corresponds to your present desires but not necessarily for your long-term wishes and benefit.

Awkwardness comes about in that zone where we are growing and advancing and learning. When we embrace the awkwardness we move beyond our established areas of life and enter new ones, or ones where we are not comfortable. By having the moral courage to advance ourselves beyond our comfort zone, we can develop the strength to deal with uncomfortable and difficult situations, and to be merciful and understanding to others when they need to bind their own wounds and find encouragement in their own awkwardness. And if we can comfort and confidence, it gives us the motivation to further our growth in directions that we want to go in, but are often timid because of the distance between where we are and where we want to be. Little by little we can gain confidence and competence in areas and expand our comfort zone so that we can become better, more balanced, and more complete people, which makes our lives better in all of its facets.

And so, when we feel awkward or uncomfortable, rather than retreat from the feeling, we should recognize that there is a thrill in expanding the frontiers of our heart and mind. There will always be areas where we can grow and improve, and that is something that we should appreciate, as it keeps us energetic and motivated, keeps us a little humble as well as not entirely dull and boring. When we expand what we do and what we are comfortable with, we allow ourselves the opportunity to continue to grow and learn throughout our lives, with a greater security and faith because we have the courage to step out of our comfort zone and trust that we will make it through alright, a bit wiser for our experiences, and also more generous with others in theirs. And so, let us all embrace the awkwardness we find in life–for in these awkward moments are the instruction that we need to grow in grace and knowledge as better people.