Some time ago I wrote about a war on women and children. In Uzbekistan, women who give birth in hospitals are forcibly sterilized by doctors under anesthesia without their consent, women who are often blamed by their husbands for what was not their fault and was the fault of a government concerned about overpopulation and unwilling to encourage its poor and huddled masses to find a better place to live and a better future [1]. Likewise, the Taliban have been declaring war on women who seek education, sending out hit squads to school buses to kill women (and men who support the education of women) on multiple occasions. I think it can be agreed that these actions demonstrate a war on women–on the increased respect and honor given to women when they become well-educated and on the fertility of women. Likewise, Amos commented on the war on women in dealing with infanticide in the womb as a form of demographic warfare [2]. Few would argue that forced infanticide on pregnant women is an act of war against women.

And yet there is a mistaken, grossly inconsistent, and yet persistent misunderstanding that those deeds which are warfare when conducted against women against their will are somehow entirely morally blameless when conducted by women against their own offspring. Likewise, there is an inexplicable tendency to view those who seek to subsidize poverty and the breakup of families are somehow the friends of those who suffer from such curses. How are those who attack the ability of men and women to provide for their families through increased taxation and decreased economic productivity somehow the friends of women and families? Aren’t our friends the ones who encourage us to do and be better, rather than those who simply enjoy keeping us down because they like it when we need them and feel insecure when we no longer are dependent on them? We consider such relationships co-dependent and do our best to overcome them (at least I do). How is behavior that is unacceptable with people acceptable with our relationships with our governments?

Any government or institution or person that desires to enable us to escape personal responsibility and ownership is not our friend. A friend desires to provide encouragement for us to do and be better, to provide a perspective of balance, a patient ear to listen to us as we work out our thoughts and feelings, and information and resources for us to improve our state. Why then are we content to believe slander out of fear? Is our situation so fragile and so insecure that we cannot accept responsibility for our deeds and mistakes, attempting to wipe out the evidence of our misdeeds after the fact because we cannot control ourselves enough to avoid the mistakes in the first place? Do we not see that the same concern and care for our interests that we expect from our institutions is the same concern and care that we have to show to others, whether our unborn children, our friends and neighbors. People do not belong to us for us to dispose of as we wish–rather we have duties and responsibilities to others as well as to ourselves.

Therefore we ought to understand that those who wish to demand a higher standard of us are not our enemies but our friends. But it is not enough to demand of others, but to provide encouragement and support as well so that others may be able to overcome bad habits and bad experiences, better able to treat others better than they deserve and to see ourselves and others as we are. And those who seek to enable us to make the same mistakes over and over again without paying the price are not our friends but our enemies, just as are those who wish to coerce us to force death and suffering on us to fulfill their own selfish interests. This is true whether for individuals or political parties or institutions or governments. We must be very careful to understand who is really at war with us, and who is merely a demanding but encouraging friend who sees what we may yet become, frustrated because we are content to remain in the ruts of our life.

[1] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/04/16/uzbekistan-and-the-war-on-children/

[2] https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2011/06/29/for-three-transgressions-and-for-four-amos-on-abortion/