Kill The Silence: A Survivor’s Life Reclaimed, by Monika Korra

[Note: This book was provided free of charge by Blogging For Books/Harmony Books in exchange for an honest review.]

On the evening of December 5, 2009, the author, a student athlete from Norway attending college at Southern Methodist in Dallas on a track scholarship, was gang-raped at gunpoint by three Mexican-American men. This book is an honest and gritty account of that event, with a bit of previous context about her previous life in Norway and in the United States, and a lot about the aftermath of how she reclaimed her dignity and overcame the PTSD and other difficulties that followed the rape, including testifying in court against two of the rapists, who ended up receiving life sentences for their brutal assault. As is the case with many of the books I read [1] of this nature, the usual disclaimers apply. Anyone reading this book is likely to either be a survivor of sexual assault or abuse of some fashion, or is likely to care about someone who was. This book does not make for pleasant reading–if it has an inspiring message about forgiveness and resilience, it is also painfully open about the lengthy and difficult struggles that the survivors of sexual assault face, and that is made even more clear when one notes that the author herself had a lot going for her that many other survivors do not.

Over and over again, this book reads like a best-case scenario for a survivor of sexual assault. Both towards the beginning and the end of her ordeal, she finds herself in loving relationships with decent men. She has the support of a loving circle (she refers to them as her “team”) of caring and supportive male and female friends, both in the United States and her native Norway. She has at least some Christian background, and the full love and support of her parents and sister, as well as her university and athletic staff. Not only this, but she even manages to befriend lawyers and journalists. In contrast to the dark anonymity faced by many survivors of rape and sexual abuse, she had a voice, she uses it to write bluntly, passionately, and well, and she had the support of others, even if she was possessed of a great deal of independence and had a hard time accepting the help of others, or admitting dependence. Yet in reporting her rape, a fact made more difficult by the failures of many hospitals to have proper rape kits for survivors, and in managing to see her attackers convicted and put behind bars, the author was highly unusual. So too, the author’s experience as a skilled athlete who was able to use her knowledge of breath control (to help with the anxiety and panic attacks and other PTSD symptoms) and her exercise techniques to help overcome the terror and high anxiety resulting from her traumatic experiences.

Aside from the fact that the author is resolute and insistent about not being a victim–instead, she is a survivor, and a victor, the most interesting aspects of this book were the ways in which she frequently and pointedly discussed her Norwegian background. The first chapter of the book, after the prologue, is titled Stillhetens Timer, for “Quiet Hours,” referring to her attempts to study in relative peace and quiet despite the distractions of college life. Later on, the author discusses how her attitude was affected by the Ten Laws of Jante, among which are these: “You’re not to think anyone cares about you. You’re not to think you’re anything special,” and so on. In the afterword of the book, the author talks about Hverdagsykke, or “everyday happiness,” the sort of ordinary and prosaic happiness that the people of Norway seek to have in the moment. The fact that the author was able to find this everyday happiness, after a process of several years, is a very worthwhile thing. Perhaps some of the rest of us may eventually be so blessed. That is the hope, after all, that would be felt by many who read this inspirational and deeply honest memoir, both for themselves and for others.

[1] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/book-review-if-god-is-good/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/book-review-the-seduction-of-eva-volk/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/book-review-highway-to-hell/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/09/14/book-review-wounded-women-of-the-bible/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/05/20/book-review-so-many-reasons-why/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/book-review-life-in-spite-of-me/

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/book-review-zoheleth/