In life, it is very common to kick the cat when it comes to stressful situations. The expression comes from a story. A father has a rough day at work and he yells at his wife when he gets home. Then the wife gets angry and yells at their son, and the son, having no one to take out his anger on, kicks the cat. All too often in life our difficulties spiral out of control because we suffer and do not feel that we can respond appropriately at the situation so we release our anger and frustration in a different situation that merely gives someone else undeserved anger and frustration to deal with. The end result is something much like the plot of Cat In The Hat, where the mischievous cat tries to clean up the mess he made, but only manages to shift the mess around rather than do anything about it.

Often, life is like that. It is a rare character that is strong enough to handle difficulties without pushing them on to others, without taking out one’s frustrations on those who have no fault in the matter. I cannot consider myself perfect in such matters, but I do at least have the ideal of not lashing out in kind when I am frustrated or put upon. For one, I tend to assume that I am both fairly sensitive to slights and also the sort of person who tends to unintentionally cause a great deal of stress to others who are largely (if not completely) undeserving of that stress. The only way we can take difficult situations and make them better is to find ways to avoid either being taken down or hurting others when we are hurt ourselves. To do that requires a strength outside of ourselves, and a nature that is merciful and gracious.

Not surprisingly, we tend to have difficulties with kicking the cat in large part because we have problems in kicking the can. Kicking the can, of course, is what happens when we refuse to resolve problems and instead push them down the road to be dealt with later. Sometimes, of course, it makes sense to behave in this fashion. For example, if we are in a situation where mere endurance will lead to overcoming a difficult or unpleasant situation because there is some change in the system, then kicking the can makes a great deal of sense, because we know (or expect, within reason) for there to be a change that will get rid of the problems that we are dealing with. Often, though, kicking the can merely avoids a problem today, with the resources that we have (which we may think to be inadequate), due to wishes rather than reasons to expect that there will be a better future. Often the problems we could deal with today are problems that will be vastly more difficult to deal with tomorrow, or next year, or in a generation. Of course, some problems simply cannot be dealt with now and simply have to be endured, as best as we are able.

Knowing when to be patient and await a change in circumstances, and when to deal with matters here and now, is a matter of considerable delicacy, and it is easy to go wrong in such matters. All too often we may force unnecessary conflicts when time would make difficulties easier that result from a lack of knowledge or understanding. Equally often, we may delay in dealing with problems when they can be dealt with easily and things get harder and more complicated and more tangled before we get around to the problems. Such matters are not easy to determine, and I do not pretend to understand them well. Still, like everyone else, I do the best that I can, and hope that everything else sorts itself out.