Liveblogging Spectrum Pulse’s 1000 Worst Songs

Alright, every once in a while I like doing a liveblogging experience, and this one is courtesy of music reviewer Spectrum Pulse, who made a list of what he considered to be the 1000 worst songs on Spotify that he curated himself.  Let’s see how many of these I can get through in a row tonight.  The challenge is no pauses, no skips.  This could get interesting.

  1. Clear Blue Sky – Skylar Grey – It’s not so bad.  It reminds me of the sort of Disney Channel music I listened to a lot in my mid-to-late 20’s (long story).  It’s mildly catchy, in other words.
  2. The Finest Things – Colette Carr – This song is definitely tediously repetitive.  This song is almost so bad it’s good territory.  It’s hard to believe that someone recorded this without tongue firmly lodged in cheek.
  3. Hercules – Sara Bareilles – So, the singer of “King Of Anything” and “Love Song” and “Brave” celebrates her favorite cheesy early 1990’s television show/gloriously over-the-top 1990’s Disney movie.  No?  This still isn’t a song I would consider bad.
  4. B.E.A.T. – Selena Gomez – Gloriously bad Selena Gomez deep cuts?  Count me in.  This is the sort of obscure music listening experience that I mine for odd trivia.  She got me saying “Ayo,” I’m tired of using technology, like autotune.
  5. Reverse Running – Atoms For Peace- This isn’t a band or song I’m familiar with, but the music is at least mildly intriguing for a droning piece.  So far I haven’t heard anything that would make me rage quit.  Indeed, it’s been a great soundtrack for reading about lonely places around the world from Pico Iyer.
  6. Better Than Me – The Brilliancy – Are you sure this isn’t the best list?  This is an enjoyable piece of pop rock with glorious chords and riffs and a driving drum beat.  This is the sort of song I listen to for fun.  I get the feeling Mark Grondin and I might have very different tastes in music.
  7. Give It 2 U – Robin Thicke f/Kendrick Lamar (?!) – You know, I think I heard this one live when I watched Robin Thicke in concert.  It was popular with the ladies, but it comes off as pretty cringy.  The harmony and falsetto is pretty humorous.  This is gloriously bad with the right sort of self-parodic notes.
  8. Trust Me – Backstreet Boys – A late-era Backstreet Boys song I’m not familiar with?  This sounds excellent.  Seriously, if this is supposed to make me rage quit in frustration at bad music, Mr. Grondin of Spectrum Pulse clearly is not bringing his A-game.  This is an enjoyable and catchy song, far from one of the worst ever.
  9. Fracking Fluid Injection – The Knife – This is a song that I’m not familiar with, and the best thing I can say about it is that it sounds odd and experimental.  Wait, it lasts ten minutes?  Well, it certainly is odd, and while I don’t think I would ever pay money for this song, it has a certain strange charm, sounding like a dying seagull.
  10. Passenger Side – Jay Sean – Sadly, all I have are books and a crutch on the passenger side, but this isn’t a bad song.  It’s catchy and poppy and at only 3 minutes, it’s a breath of fresh air after having nearly ten minutes of dying avian sounds on the previous song.
  11. Air Bud – Kurt Vile – Is this a song from the soundtrack of the same name?  I don’t know, but the music and lyrics are odd and quite enjoyable.  It’s not vile at all, rather adorably eccentric.  How is this a bad song?
  12. Dead Nature – Savages – This track is, um, experimental, but blessedly short at only about 2 minutes long.  It sounds like the soundtrack to my head when walking around looking for my car after a concert in Portland hoping I don’t get mugged by leftist hipsters.  Savages seems an appropriate title.
  13. Population Control – Pop. 1280 – This is a strange name for a song, but the singing of this song is barely audible over the industrial music.  This is the sort of music I remember being popular at the underground radio station KUSC I was a dj for during my undergraduate years, something that makes me feel almost nostalgic.
  14. Blue Agent – Deerhunter – This song has a catchy melodic line, and its singing is appealingly alternative.  I can’t see this is one of the 1000 worst songs ever.  It’s something I would happily listen to on the radio.
  15. That’s My Kind Of Night – Luke Bryan – It’s time for some bro country.  I wonder what took so long for this to happen.  As far as bro country goes, one could get a lot worse.  The vocal track is clean at least.  This is pretty solid pop country.
  16. Heavenfaced – The National – This is a gloomy track, but it is about ultimate subjects, and I happen to be one of those people who likes the voice of the lead singer of the band as well as the reflective nature of the music of the song.  Again, this is a pleasant, if moody, song.
  17. Dump Dump – A$AP Ferg – This is not a very good song, but let us hope he was not taking himself too seriously.  This is one of those many songs where someone brags about stealing your girl.  Who can relate?  Woo.  The lyrics to this song are a bit on the nose, even for this genre.
  18. Paper Doll – John Mayer – I actually like this song, since it is part of a genre of celebrity diss songs that I appreciate, being John Mayer’s side of the story about his brief and ill-fated relationship with Taylor Swift.  I like how the song combines being almost delicate with being savage at the same time.
  19. 523 – Earl Sweatshirt – More odd experimental music!  I like the drums here and the guitar riff.  The music sounds unsettling, droning, even a bit creepy, but intentionally so.  Area Code 523 is for what area?  Hmm, a geographic area used in scam calls?  That’s creepy.
  20. The Universe Expanded – Franz Ferdinand – This is an enjoyable if somewhat repetitive song, worthwhile to get to know the music of this band a bit better.  Deep cuts!
  21. M.O.N.E.Y. – The 1975 – I wonder if this is what the band’s lead singer meant when he said his band was doing big band better than almost anyone else?  It’s not bad.  The autotune vocals and odd sound effects are almost endearing.  Is that gunfire?  *Boom*
  22. All Time Low – Nine Inch Nails – More industrial music 🙂  Again, I don’t see how this is one of the 100 worst songs.  NIN certainly made worse music, but the music here is somewhat melodic, and that’s a good thing.
  23. Controversy – Natalia Kills – This song is spoken word and nothing particularly great.  It’s a song that thinks it is edgy but it’s not really edgy.  It’s almost endearing in its naivite.  Almost.
  24. Right There – Ariana Grande f/Big Sean – It’s an interesting mixture between teen pop and something trying very hard to be credible rap.  Gang vocals?  Slightly syncopated music?  Nasally and somewhat incomprehensible vocals?  Yes, yes, and yes.  It’s a classic deep cut from Ariana Grande.  If Mark Grondin wanted to showcase some really bad Ariana Grande he could have put “God Is A Woman” on here, but this is far better.
  25. L.G.Q. – Syndrome – More odd experimental music with driving drums and delightfully alarm-like synth riffs and some ponderous poetic lyrics.  I could see myself recording something like this.
  26. Don’t Hold The Wall – Justin Timberlake – This is an odd song, but not a bad one.  In fact, I find it rather humorous in a ramshakle way.  Deep cuts of famous artists are often greatly entertaining, as album filler and evidence of an artist trying something that isn’t immediately popular, but is honestly quirky.
  27. No. 1 Party Anthem – Artic Monkeys – This song is deliberately ironic.  I like it a lot, actually, given that I’m a fairly melancholic sort of person and this song is precisely that sort of song, with a gorgeous instrumental line.
  28. Love’s Poster Child – Keith Urban – I must admit that while I generally like Keith Urban, this is a song of his I’m not very familiar with.  It’s an enjoyable song, with solid instrumentation and a catchy melody.  The curator’s song choices baffle me.  So far on this list of supposedly hideous and atrocious songs there have not been that many songs that I view as less than meh, and only “Dump Dump” has been a dumpster fire of a song.
  29. It’s Code – Janelle Monae – This is an enjoyable throwback song.  Again, there is no way that this is even among the 1000 worst songs of the year it was released in, much less of the Spotify era.  This is a smooth song that is enjoyable to listen to about a relationship that didn’t go well.  Who can relate?  Me :/.
  30. Where U Been?  2 Chainz f/Cap 1 – This isn’t a great song, but it’s humorous in its badness.  It’s one of those ridiculous rap songs that is sort of a brag rap about working hard and paying one’s debts and getting paid.  I’ve been getting money there the @#@^ you been?
  31. Beat It – Sean Kingston, Chris Brown, and Wiz Khalifa – I must admit that I take a perverse pleasure in getting to know new Chris Brown songs.  This one is probably slicker than his average, which isn’t saying much, although it is nowhere near as good as the Michael Jackson song of the same name.
  32. Dear Boy – Avicii – The late Avicii shows up (finally?) on this list with a piece of poignant dance pop.  It is amazing how the early death of an artist can take a fairly ordinary song as this one and add layers of deep emotional resonance given the passing nature of a career and a life.
  33. March Madness – LMNO, Rakaa, and DJ Romes – This is some flex rapping, but it’s not incompetently done.  I mean, it’s not hte best song ever, but it’s at least midly amusing and it shows some competence in its flow.
  34. Plenty Of Girls In The Sea – MGMT – This song sounds rather cute and humorous, making fun of the cliche that there are plnety of fish in the sea.   The music is delightfully odd, to suit the strange lyrics.  Again, this is not a bad tune by any means.
  35. Banana Pancakes – Billy Currington – This song is like many of the other songs I am familiar with from this artist, in that it is a charming and homespun sort of song, a type of country song I am fond of in its laid-back way.
  36. Seagull – Bill Callahan – This is a rather sparse sort of song, about seagulls no less (see above comment on “The Knife”).  It’s about 11:30PM, so I’m going to let this playlist go on during the night, serving as the soundtrack to my dreams/nightmares.  We’ll see if I wake up and what my thoughts are in the morning when I wake up.  So far, this is not a terrible collection of songs at all.
  37. ?? I don’t know how many songs played while I was resting or sleeping or starting to get ready this morning, but now I’m listening to “Sweet November” by SZA.  It’s a pleasant, low-key song.  Earlier there were some country songs, dance pop, and even an amusing song by Lorde.  None of it was the music of nightmares.  I think I’ll leave it at this.

About nathanalbright

I'm a person with diverse interests who loves to read. If you want to know something about me, just ask.
This entry was posted in History, Music History, Musings and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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